Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.



At the present time I am still trying a few more alternative treatments
as the allopathic Doctors have said that there is really nothing they
can do at this point other than expect me to pass in a short time. It
seems that nothing we have done either allopathic or alternative has
really been able to fully stop the cancer. But the alternative
treatments do seem to slow it down temporarily. We're being very
aggressive at this time because the cancer, once again, seems to be
spreading. My concern of course is not so much my own health but more
importantly, the health of our institution, the health of my disciples
and in general, how my life and my impending death can create value in
helping us all to connect deeper as vaisnava sadhus, how to serve and
protect eachother better, to live our lives with much more compassion
and to live in such a way that we help to minimise the sufferings of
others whilst we strengthen our own abilities to connect with
transcendence.



I am excited, full of gratitude and I see everyday how I'm being so
blessed by Guru and Krsna's mercy. Srila Prabhupada has blessed me and
Krsna has been so kind to me, far beyond my worth. Even my terminal
illness is a blessing in disguise.



Yours in Srila Prabhupada's Service
With Love
Bhakti Tirtha Swami

PS Please remind the devotees about the prayer that I asked them to make
last year in Mayapur when I gave class after the installation. The
prayer is basically that we ask Srila Prabhupada to bring us whatever
experiences we need to have that will allow us to fully please him and
to take away whatever is necessary to allow us to be better servants in
his institution.

Yes. This is definitely something to learn from. Thank you for posting this letter, ANHSIRK. Does it have a date? I haven't heard anything from Bhakti Tirtha Swami over several weeks now.

When pasting in texts, it is better to use a smaller font. It won't scramble up the formatting and is gentler on the eyes. I have taken the freedom to reformat BTS' letter for better readability by making your font smaller, 8p instead of 14p.

A Canadian friend of mine has just received initiation from him at Gita Nagari a few weeks back.

He's quite popular amongst the youth too. Two friends of mine got initiated by him on Janmastami a couple of years ago. I feel for them.

You feel for them because he is a bad man or because he is ill?

Both actually. Um, he is a bad man? Though I have heard some dubious things about the Swami, I do not know if they are true but suppose it is the decent thing to lay all doubts to rest. For my friends, I feel for them because they will soon be without a guru. They were so enthusiastic and happy too, let's hope they will be able to keep it up.

latest update by Bhakti Tirtha himself

Dear Disciples and Well Wishers,

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. I want to apologize, as I won't be able to travel to visit any of you in your various temples and projects. The cancer is spreading every day. The tumors in my body are also getting larger every day. My main personal caretaker at this time in addressing issues with my body is Dhruva Maharaja Dasa from South Africa. He literally sleeps in the room with me every night.

I am waking up about every hour and a half. I am not able to get up on my own to go to the bathroom, so I have to be wheelchaired into the bathroom. He and Ekavira also have to bathe me each day. In many ways I've become fully an invalid, as some caretakers have to be with me at every moment of the day.

We're seeing externally the tumors are getting bigger, and we can understand that internally the cancer is gradually spreading all over the body with tremendous vigor. Now I'm mainly doing some treatments to try to minimize and dull the pain. At this point I could have weeks or (I’m so stubborn) still a few months. However, I really don't see how the soul will be able to stay in this body for months due to its rapid deterioration.

Even though I'm still giving the classes once a week, which I hope you're all listening to, it has become so hard for me. On Sunday, just driving from Institute House to the temple on the bumpy road in Gita Nagari, I felt like my already cancerous and damaged collar bone was going to fully break. It also felt as if my head and neck were too heavy for my shoulders and chest.

At the same time however, I am dying on the battlefield. Three days ago I did a one-hour live radio show over the telephone, and yesterday morning devotees managed to prop me up and dress me very nicely to make a recording for the Oprah Winfrey show. It seems that we have an angle to share with millions of people around the world who watch the show. Let us see if she picks up on this before I depart.

It doesn't really matter, as the message has already been recorded, as well as the fact that my life has been my message in the rather unique way that I served Srila Prabhupada's mission.

For those who have received formal recommendations, I will start chanting on your beads next week. To save time we have purchased the beads on this side, and once they're chanted on we will send them to you. We will post the new names of the first initiates and a list of the second initiates on www.btswami.com, and they should later be posted on all the other foreign websites.

For those who have been accepted for second initiation, you will have to have a siksa or authority in you area who is a brahmin, to give you the mantra on my behalf (and the thread for men). This authority should explain to you all that is necessary for chanting the mantra.

You will also receive an MP3 (on CD) of a short class I gave to the second initiates in Gita Nagari about chanting Gayatri, but first you must hear the mantra in your right ear from someone in your area who makes a connection with you on my behalf.

Now the question is, Why am I at this time ready to take more disciples when I am leaving in a short time and won't see 99 percent of you again in this lifetime other than if I appear to you via visions, dreams, or sound etc? I have prayed over this, and my initial feelings were that since I cannot physically visit your places, I should just accept it as Krsna's mercy and request you all to take shelter elsewhere.

However, I am feeling that my higher self is now dictating that yes I should encourage you all, even those of you who are already initiated, to find formal siksa with other leaders and devotees. But since most of you are so deeply connected with me in the heart and some even have connected with me from a previous life, I want to do what I can in this short time to connect you with the parampara and to accept your ongoing love and devotion to me, which I then pass on to my own guru.

So I cannot tell you, "No, I will not pass on your dedication and love to Srila Prabhupada," as I must deliver whatever's necessary as his disciple, envoy, and ambassador. Can you imagine in one sense how difficult it is with all the physical complexities I am having, after being such an active person for almost my whole life. None of you can fully imagine how joyful and happy I am about how my impending death has had, and is having, an impact on the international community.

It is not only those in the ISKCON community or those just in the Vaisnava communities but also so many of the people who are connected with nama hattas, workshops, and seminars that I've given in many other pious communities. So when I do finally leave, by the mercy of my guru, perhaps I will be able to return back to the spiritual world with great happiness, knowing that my little service on this planet has pretty much been carried out successfully based on my commission.

So I want all of you now to fully accept that I have left and just see any additional days, weeks, etc. as a special arrangement in bringing last closure to my little efforts to raise global consciousness. I will also begin to nourish my internal life more even though I chose to die active here in the West, on the battlefield. We really cannot join the residents of the spiritual world unless we are ready or have become like them. So you can imagine I've got a whole lot of work to do in a short time.

Don't worry; my books will have more impact after I leave, even though there are already 17 books being translated into 15 different languages. Those who know me closely know that I don't have any serious qualifications in any area, but miracles have always happened around me, even to the point that I began to expect them. Thanks and appreciation from dipika.org to our sponsor and host,

In other words, there are many things I have somehow been able to do, which I know were far beyond my rational power and influence.

The biography of my life that was written two years ago by a writer and disciple of Jayapataka Swami in Russian will come out in English at some point. I think the biography will increase your faith in Srila Prabhupada more. Just as the life of so many of our senior devotees, when fully shared, will show how they were brought to this mission so miraculously, what to say of their many awesome accomplishments. They are the real heroes.

The difference between me and them is that I was always upfront and often announcing or informing the Vaisnava community of some of my achievements. I've always been spoiled, and I've always found ways to get love and distribute love. Just look at my situation now. I will not and cannot die quietly. I will be receiving love and affection until I take my last breath. Thank you all so much for your love.

Yes, I continue to repeat, "I am blessed by the best and will never settle for anything less, and I'm just waiting to pass a few more tests." But I'll only be able to pass these last tests as you send more of your love and as you show more determination to do more on your own part in making sacrifices for others. I will live on in such a wonderful way through my disciples, especially those rare disciples who will be "love in action" as they interact as sweet sadhus in their various communities.

What a wonderful life I've had, and what a wonderful death I'm approaching! So I request that upon reading this letter you intellectually accept that the entity you knew in this present and physical form is eternal but has already departed. I will not be personally answering any more emails from disciples. If you send an email to me there's a chance that it'll be read to me and some of my caretakers will answer on my behalf.

I will of course be answering emails from my Godbrothers, Godsisters, leaders from other traditions who are in touch with me and those connected with the Harinama press work in different countries.

The next four books that will come out—Beggar 4 - Die before Dying, which will be ready in three weeks; Spiritual Warrior 6, a book on terrorism, war, fanaticism, sectarianism, and the peace solution; Reflections 5, 64 Principles for Developing a Sound Vaisnava Community by Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur; my little book on aparadhas; and then my last book on surrender—will all basically conclude the major messages that I wanted to share in helping to bring about some national and international transformation.

Some of the things that I have done in this lifetime, I have done in previous lives. So some things were just destined to happen in certain ways. Even the minority body that I've appeared in in this lifetime has been given as a special asset for my services. I had a lot of fun, I raised a lot of hell, and oops... I will keep doing it until the helpers who come for me tell me, "Maharaja, you no longer have to deal with negativities. Your work now is all blissful loving service."

Next time when they come I will not procrastinate. Everything that needed to be said by me or done by me has all been done. Can you believe, I've even helped pick out my own samadhi and all the stuff that comes with it? I want even the arrangements for my remains to be upbeat.

What can I say? I am outrageous as a Godbrother, as a member of my biological family, as a disciple and as a spiritual master. Maybe Lord Nityananda and some of his cowherd boys gave me kick in the head as I was leaving home : )

So what can I do? I refuse to take all the blame for my outrageousness. When the full biography comes out and when some of you later visit the museum that’s being set up and you see all the outrageous clothes, crowns, canes, and volumes of books that I used as references, you will realize that it's amazing how I appeared to be as sane as I did. But I guess there's some value in being insane in a world where the norms are downright expressions of insanity.

So no time to waste. Just keep sending the love. Yes, I know you love me, but I love you all three times as much. I will find some ways to show you this even more after I have departed.

Yours in Srila Prabhupada's Service
With Love,
Previously known as John Favours, Ghanasyama, Swami Krsnapada,

Bhakti Tirtha Swami.

http://www.btswami.com/

another update--perhaps the last...

23/04/05, Bhakti-Tirtha Swami sets the stage for his final offering
back

Dear Maharajas, Prabhus and disciples

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

This is probably the penultimate special message of wisdom from the ground hog aka the beggar aka spiritual warrior. So let this prepare you for the ultimate message. (smile) You can see that this kind of communication that I am doing must actually come to a stop. Firstly because it is natural, for I definitely have to get out of this body sometime in the near future, but also because if I am not careful, this sort of communication could become my biggest failure. Just consider how every time I send out some of these messages, so many nice devotees all around the world write and call and offer me kindness and praise. Yes, this is wonderful but can you see all the danger in this? One of Maya’s most special tricks is to get the devotee who has acquired some little achievement to start thinking, ‘just see, I am an advanced devotee.’ For instance, if I’m not careful and if I let myself start thinking in this way, then when the helpers come to take me out of the body they’ll take me straight to Brahmaloka or some place of this nature. They’ll say, ‘this was your final test and you accepted certain adoration and glorification as your own, therefore go ahead and enjoy now for 311 trillion years managing your own planet or universe.’ Isn’t Maya just so tricky? (Smile) When Vasudeva the leper was healed by Krishna he prayed very intensely ‘please do not let me become proud’. When the great devotee Madhavendra Puri was called out by the pujari and the deity Ksira-Cora Gopinatha he was so eager to avoid praise. We’ve never heard of devotees like Narottama Dasa Thakur, Bhaktivinode Thakur or our Srila Prabhupada (we can go on and on and on), being in a mood of arrogance. They were constantly writing and praying, addressing how they do not have love of God and how they are unqualified in so many areas etc. Anyway, what I’m writing now is for my own edification and purification and maybe for yours as well. Devotees like me, in one sense have no qualification in practically any area but have received blessings by causeless mercy. However, pride manifesting as pratistha (a desire for fame) is a serious enemy.

When I had my amputation I offered up a sacrifice. I offered that a substantial quantity of pain that some of the women, children, elders, brahmins, and cows etc in our movement had suffered, could be absorbed in my extremely deteriorated leg and that when the leg was amputated, as it was thrown away from my own body, that there would also be some elimination of this unhealthy karma from the body of our institution. So now today in a similar spirit I want to offer in sacrifice all the rest of what remains with this body. In other words, I fully want to present myself to the Lord in the mood of Saranagati – full surrender. ‘Thy will be done, so please use me in this last way to make an ultimate sacrifice for those devotees, saints and sadhus who are having seemingly insurmountable obstacles in their own spiritual journey.’ I would like to also make it specific, particularly focusing on forgiveness.

The duty of a brahmana is to culture the quality of forgiveness, which is illuminating like the sun. The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Hari, is pleased with those who are forgiving. (SB 9.15.40)

All of us have so many people who we’ve interacted with who have hurt us in different ways. Just to exist, or to be engaged in any type of relationship means we’re going to be hurt by someone and we’re going to hurt someone. We all have people who we need to forgive and there are so many people who need to forgive us. Sometimes the person we have the greatest difficulty forgiving is ourselves. Why am I bringing up forgiveness and resentment? Because I am noticing that it is a very serious issue. I am especially sending this message out to those children who’ve been abused. In the USA for example, the statistics show that 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys have been sexually abused and unfortunately most of these kinds of abuse are done by the people who are actually supposed to be their protectors or overseers etc. So this is a global problem of people being abused and hurt by their fathers, uncles, brothers, mothers, sisters, Doctors, counsellors and all other types of mentors. In other words this is so unfortunate and is never to be justified, but it has gone on everywhere on this planet. And surely each institution, community and family must find more ways to minimise so much of the suffering that people are experiencing through these abuses and traumas. Some may say what right do I have to ask others to forgive, but I can assure you that by being born in a minority body, (without the active presence of my father) and going through all the ranks of ISKCON, I surely have my history of all kinds of abuses. Let’s get right to the point.

A) Forgiveness does not mean:

i) That what happened to you was your fault

ii) It doesn’t mean that you allow those who hurt you or any others to continue the abuse

iii) It doesn’t even mean that you have to forget as sometimes we have to remember the past so that it doesn’t repeat itself and often we have to learn from the past while we look and plan for the future.

iv) That what happened as horrible as it was, really wasn’t so bad after all

Forgiveness does mean:

i) That you stop allowing whoever hurt you so much to continue to daily hurt you by carrying this around in your mind everyday and therefore being attacked, disappointed and hurt everyday again and again.

ii) That you now live for the present and the future and you stop bringing a wounded you into all of your present encounters. It is not right for you to hurt yourself or those who come around you, who you really want to give your greatest love, attention and full presence to. But when you do not forgive you keep dropping a wounded you on others day after day.

iii) That you’re ready to stop giving up, denying your power everyday and being so faithless, for Krishna can use us and help us in so many ways if we do not keep shutting ourselves down with resentment.

iv) That in spite of whatever else may be happening you are ready to keep looking for and accepting Krishna’s mercy which cannot happen without accessing a deeper level of compassion and sensitivity ourselves. Isn’t is true that the greatest achievers have had to deal with the greatest obstacles, and in some cases they particularly turned their obstacles into opportunities

C) When we do not forgive

i) It is like carrying around in your hand a bunch of hot coals and waiting for a chance to throw them at the person who hurt you. But look how you burnt you own hand waiting for the opportunity. In essence forgiveness actually does more for your own well being than for another

ii) We have to ask ourselves how much suffering do those who hurt us the most have to undergo before we can release them? Must they be run over by 10 trains, chopped in to a hundred pieces or even eaten up by a pack of lions?

Let’s just be honest, if we look at the lives of all the great personalities in our sastra we will see the amazing ways in which they forgave. If any of you have time, I gave a course in Mayapur in 2003 on forgiving those who hurt you the most and we talked about over 40 or so great personalities in our Vaisnava history and examined what we learnt from the amazing ways they forgave. So the groundhog aka the beggar aka spiritual warrior is praying that the ultimate sacrifice he makes in having to walk away from his body will act somewhat as a catalyst for helping us all to look closer at resentment and forgiveness. The sad thing is that most of the time we’re prone to think that we have already forgiven others. It can be a gradual process which has many levels. For example, think of the person who has hurt you the most, and now think of all the most wonderful things you can imagine happening to this person. If you are very uncomfortable with this, or if you feel too angry or uneasy hearing or seeing them, then more than likely you haven’t released this person from your consciousness. Remember that to see a Vaisnava and not be happy is an offence. (Skanda Purana)

So that this beggar does not engender pride thinking that he has some special sacrifice to make or some very special wisdom to offer he will try to particularly use some of these points to look deeper at the subtleties in his own consciousness. Hopefully if you listen to the seminar on forgiveness, the wonderful pastimes about our great acaryas and how they forgave and the amazing honest sharing amongst the seminar participants, it will help you to help yourself to help others.

Yours in Srila Prabhupada’s Service
With Love
Bhakti-Tirtha Swami

also, from his caretakers:

Dear Beloved Devotees:

Please accept our humble obeisances.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
All glories to H.H. Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaja.

Please accept our apologies for not keeping you updated; however from now on, we will update you once a week.

Because it had been raining, the weather was cold, and the Institute House is simply too small to accommodate many devotees, Gurudeva asked to be driven to the Temple on Sunday to give the afternoon class in spite of his extremely delicate physical condition and in spite of many requests that he not do so. Fortunately, the roads were somewhat repaired to reduce Gurudeva's physical discomfort.

At the Temple, Gurudeva gave a beautiful class, along with H.H. Candramauli Swami and H.H. Kavicandra Swami. Gurudeva read his prayer, "Live Until Dying" and spoke of devotees in sastra who are immortal (ciran jivas) and of pastimes in which a devotee was brought back from death (mrta sanjivani); he also mentioned two other categories: those who remember their previous lives and those who can determine the time of their own death. Gurudeva didn't speak for very long and towards the end, seemed to experience shortness of breath. As Gurudeva was carried back to the car, a godsister of his sang softly and sweetly. Gurudeva's act of love for the devotees left many of us feeling quite emotional.

Gurudeva has grown increasingly internal and devotees are working hard to minimize noise and disturbances to facilitate Gurudeva's needs at this time. Gurudeva spends quite a lot of time hearing and viewing Vrindavana pastimes and parikramas from various devotees. Personal visits and telephone calls have been greatly reduced as these are so tiring for him; however, he keeps in contact with Godsiblings through emails, which he has read to him once a day.

Gurudeva had been receiving radiation treatments daily at a nearby hospital; however, after weighing out the pros and cons of this treatment, Gurudeva decided to stop it altogether.

His eating is steadily decreasing, and he follows a strict diet to minimize undesirable symptoms; his many cooks have been successfully employing their creativity to cook diverse preparations with the few permissible ingredients. Devotees staying at the Temple have also had chances to clean the Institute House and a few experienced devotees have even gotten to massage Gurudeva, a crucial service at this time.

Thank to Maryland/DC devotees (and others) who have been so generously donating bhoga, supplements, and other needed items. Thanks to all devotees who have so lovingly cared for the caregivers and to those Maryland devotees who cooked a sumptuous Sunday feast. We are also so grateful to the Gita-nagari devotees who have been so warmly caring for and accommodating many guests and visitors.

Hare Krishna.

Your servants,
Caretakers of H.H. Bhakti-tirtha Swami

*************************

My path is very difficult. I am blind, and my feet are slipping again and again. Therefore, may the saints help me by granting me the stick of their mercy as my support.

- Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami

What can we learn from a man on his death-bed (see name of this thread here)? That I am going to die too just as he is about to. That I have to come to terms with reality, face the facts that I have created with my existence. What it means to be truthful as to what I perceive as truth. I notice how I postpone my departure for a distant future, so as to have more time to disentangle the knots of things which I have created, but also continue to create. What can I hope for for my moment of departure? What other than grace, "misericordia", benevolence at a time of uncertainty...

When you read the ads people place in India about the departure of loved ones, you might be surprised with me how sure people are that that soul has departed for the heavenly abode (swarga-loka, four levels below brahma-loka). As our brother here has the role of a guru for many disciples, they are bound to see him go beyond and enter their idea of lila. Our brother here on his death bed seems to say that he wishes to be taken beyond Brahma-loka, if I got that right. This may not be the place to argue about perceived eschatologies and the dogmas involved in such assumptions/teachings. What I can learn here is to see the contrast of the conviction of the naive/dogmatic believer (believing to be eligible potentially to enter Brahmaloka, if I got that right, or was he joking there?) with my own perception of uncertainty and my corresponding absolute dependence on divine grace qua misericordia, to gain another life for continued service to the feet of the seekers of Grace of Sri Gauranga.

What a dying man has more than I have is the certainty of his imminent death while I continue to entertain the idea of my death being in an unknown future. I bow to the wisdom of that certainty, to the reality expressed and experienced in that moment-to-moment awareness. May my brother be well at every moment, and may some of his reality reflect upon my own moment-to-moment experience of fading life.

Elsewhere he has written about wanting to return here to continue working to spread Krsna consciousness, so I think brahmaloka is a joke.

From my vantage point, I am between where you are (preferring to think death is many years away) and where he is (knowing very well that it is imminent). I am living with the assumption that death will be sooner rather than later, measured perhaps in days or months or a very few years rather than decades. Yet death can still come for me at any moment, as for us all.

I feel a pressure to have things in order, make sure there are no outstanding conflicts to iron out, have my possessions sorted out and pared down, and my papers together. I cannot solve all problems in my past relationships as some are not willing to meet me halfway, so for those I can simply wish them well from afar. I am aware that my grandsons may grow up without me, and I am working on writing up some family and personal history to pass down to them and their descendents.

Spiritually I am pushed to allot more time and energy to my path yet knowing that I cannot guarantee any particular spiritual outcome. Time is running out and where I am may have to do. As a young devotee I thought I'd have all the time in the world (even as I mouthed the phrase death may come at any moment) to make what I used to call spiritual advancement, and that perhaps I would go back to Godhead. I had that sense of spiritual certainty the kanistha adhikari clings so tightly to. I knew that if I just kept chanting all would be well.

I no longer have that level of certainty of just what I will find on the other side. So now I prepare for a departure that I know could take me anywhere or nowhere, and I simply have to be prepared within myself to handle whatever comes.

I rather think that he is feeling some of that uncertainty himself. Even within his belief system there are many possible outcomes.

We all come to that time when we have to admit that we don't really know what's waiting for us.

Bhaktitirtha Maharaja was always so nice to my family. He initiated my late father too. I think that he is one of kindest, nicest and understanding Gurus and devotees i have ever seen in Iskcon and Gaudiya Matha.

One of my best friends is taking care of Maharaja, and i still can't believe that he will really go and leave this world.

If..., and when he does (and i hope that will not be soon at all), this will be really, really sad day for myself.

latest update 4/05/05:

Dear Beloved Devotees:

Please accept our humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. All glories to H.H. Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaja.

Once again, Gurudeva asked to be driven to the Temple last Sunday because of the possibility of rain. Last Sunday, as in previous weeks, Godsiblings, disciples, and well-wishers from across the country come to hear from Bhakti-tirtha Maharaja, many of whom he had not seen in several years. Many of these devotees lined up outside of the Temple to greet Gurudeva, eagerly awaiting a chance to carry him up the Temple steps in his wheelchair.

Guru Maharaja began the class enthusiastically chanting, "Jaya Jaya Radhe Jaya Jaya Shyama Jaya Jaya Sri Vrindavana Dhama and Jaya Jaya Radhe Jaya Jaya Shyama Jaya Jaya Sri Gita-nagari DhamaI" Devotees were shocked by the energy with which he sang and spoke. It was a powerful lecture; Gurudeva read his prayer, "We Bid Each Other Farewell to Go Deeper" and gave a full length class (including time for questions) to a full Temple room of devotees. His voice was strong; however, his body was and still is extremely weak and causing great discomfort.

Gurudeva spends each day chanting, listening to parikrama lectures, and answering a few emails from Godbrothers/sisters; occasionally, someone may get the opportunity to read to him. Even though Gurudeva is not so available to meet with devotees, a few guests including H.H. Guru Prasad Maharaja and H.H. Jaya Advaita Maharaja visited Gita-nagari, enlivening residents and guests with their association and with Srimad Bhagavatam Class.

Additionally, Sangita Mataji, Gurudeva's godsister and a hospice nurse, visited for two days and gave the caregivers tips and advice on caring for Maharaja's physical needs. Her wealth of knowledge and experience is extremely valuable. We are most grateful to her for coming and for her continued availability and care.

On a scale from one to ten, Gurudeva's bodily discomfort is about nine; the tumors are increasing in size and spreading to various parts of the body and thus, he is unable to walk, sit or lie for any long period of time. Ekavira. Dhruva, and Brahma Muhurta Prabhus reposition Gurudeva sometimes every hour throughout the night to minimize bedsores and breaking of the skin.

Although this may be difficult for many of us, Gurudeva is requesting devotees to assist with his departure by understanding that Srila Prabhupada is calling him and that he is also ready to join Srila Prabhupada. Additionally, Maharaja is requesting us to cultivate a deeper relationship with his vani (instructions) instead of holding on to his vapu (form). He requests that devotees please stop praying for him to remain in this world.

Thank you all for your continued support. We will do our best to keep you informed.

Hare Krishna.

Your indebted servants,
Caregivers of H.H. Bhakti-tirtha Swami

*************************

My path is very difficult. I am blind, and my feet are slipping again and again. Therefore, may the saints help me by granting me the stick of their mercy as my support.

- Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami

It seems he does not want to leave his body in the Holy Dham? Dying of a disease seems to be the "ideal" precondition for going there, since you rest assured that your time is coming... while dying of old-age is an uncertain process...

I believe he spoke of this in one of his earlier reports, that he needed to be near his disciples and finish as much work as possible before leaving his body, or words to that effect. He wanted to go out preaching and serving, basically.

How I recollect it, is that in his earliest letter when he first found out about cancer in the foot, he said that there was no point anymore since as he put it "I preach with my feet" via dancing, and that if he could not do that anymore, he might as well pass away. His plan was to go to the Holy Dham and stop eating, as in death through starvation. Because there were so many objections against this, he went another route.

He had said that earlier in the process, then in January he wrote the following:



The archive of all the personal and health updates can be found here:

http://www.btswami.com/archive.php

Bright Blessings to Bhakti-Tirtha Swami on this most important journey!

Last letter:

Dear Maharajas, Prabhus and Disciples

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

This is the final letter that I will be sending out. Our movement is like a young adult. There are many things that everyone experiences, individuals as well as institutions that are part of the maturation process. As we grow, we also have to deal with growth pains. Often after these growth pains we experience the greatest benefits from our struggles, just like a mother who is pregnant and who is bringing forth children. Each time before she gives birth she has to deal with almost unbearable challenges. So we as an institution have experienced so many birth pains and challenges especially each time there is opportunity for major acceleration. Sometimes some of these tests institutionally and individually have heavily bewildered us, seriously wounded us and unfortunately, sometimes temporarily destroyed us. But we all know that there can not be serious growth and advancement without austerity. Prabhupada explains in the Bhagavatam that an easy life and Krishna consciousness go ill together.

Each of us has our own battle of Kuruksetra that we have to deal with. In any battlefield situation one can be victorious or one can be a failure, however, even when one is a failure it can be used to come back stronger at a later time. In a battlefield situation one is in the most dangerous environments where the most gruesome as well as the most noble things take place, but with good association the individual has more guarantee to be successful. We have been offered the very best strategy and association by our wonderful acaryas so really if we become failures it is ultimately our own fault. If we keep in good association even our temporary defeats will remind us but not define us. From these setbacks we should individually as well as collectively become stronger and hopefully wiser and more unified. It is important to remind ourselves that at the end of the day, all we really have is each other. Ultimately a genuine family is eager to see how to help each other, they share in the defeats and they share in the successes especially since devotees are para dukha dukhi.

So many of us have been pioneers. Pioneers naturally make sacrifices for future generations but ultimately they establish the foundation. The special mercy is all that we did is in our spiritual bank accounts. I have personally noticed that many devotees build up their spiritual investments and when it is almost time for them to benefit from their credits i.e. to receive empowerment and to accelerate by leaps and bounds in their consciousness, Maya finds a way to trick them so that they become unaware or unable to benefit from what is available at the right time. These kinds of tests bring a person to tremendous crossroads. At a crossroad we can take the path of success; more profound selfless devotion, offering oneself more intensely than ever before to Guru and to Krishna or, we can choose the path of selfishness, with all kinds of subtle attachments that will lead to downfall. My realization is that without sufficient humility and high quality association, many people will take the path of temporary failure. It seems that several of the recent serious fall downs in big places are connected with four major factors: aparadhas, a lack of humility, a lack of quality association and a lack of understanding of some of the dynamics of advancement (some of the great dark night of the soul challenges). As more of us raise the quality of our own consciousness, this will lead to consistent manifestations of deeper purity and we will have a greater impact on the environment. Just as Maya is contagious, authentic Bhakti is contagious.

I have made many mistakes in my devotional career especially in the area of being more sensitive to devotees needs. I feel I was given a special service in Srila Prabhupada’s mission to help the devotees to look closer at how to rise above anartha nivrtti. A lot of my focus in preaching was to care for and to help the devotees as best as I could, especially to help them to recognise their stagnations while they simultaneously develop the faith and technologies of how to be less and less distracted. I also feel that I was given a few special privileges and lots of help in addressing a small part of Srila Prabhupada’s mission on how to solve material problems with spiritual solutions. This required a certain style of presentation, it wasn’t so much that I sacrificed developing external sadhu qualities, but I think it had more to do with some of the ways I needed to function to go in like a needle and come out like an elephant. After all, it was these kinds of services, creative sankirtana, which constantly got me Srila Prabhupada’s favour when he was on the planet. This was one of the reasons I chose to leave my body in the west on the battlefield. Another reason was that I realized if a few more of the senior leaders left their bodies where there are major projects, this would play a significant role in helping to develop and secure those projects. What to speak of reminding ourselves that so much of Srila Prabhupada’s success was in establishing holy dhamas all around the world. The important thing in my humble opinion is, since the scriptural injunction states that one should always desire to live in the holy dhamas and one should leave their body in the holy dhamas, we understand that yes, it is physical, but more importantly it is a state of consciousness. We should never minimize the sacredness and the benefit of leaving our bodies in the holy dhama. So many wonderful special helpers are there in the holy dhamas to assist one with their transition. By the mercy of Srila Prabhupada all kinds of help for the devotee is arranged. I have shared with many of you, that one of my greatest realizations is that even when we think we are doing our best, it is still so insignificant, or that by the mercy of Krishna, Srila Prabhupada and their many helpers, they will maintain what we have and supply big time, what we are lacking. By the mercy of all of you, there are indications that I may be on my way back to the spiritual world in perhaps one or two weeks and I may also be able to continue to have some influence here to assist the mission.

I want to offer my apologies to all of you that I have offended, especially due to my often radical and unorthodox nature. I want to thank you so much for helping my life to be successful by allowing me in my own small way to offer myself up in sacrifice, somewhat in the mood of Vasudeva Datta to try to be the servant of the servant. Only by your constant prayers and the constant forcing of Srila Prabhupada in keeping me somewhat focused was I able to pass the final test. So I leave with you my funny mantra with its different variations. “We are all spiritual warriors, who are blessed by the best, and we have a duty to reach out more to help each other to pass their test.” In order to successfully deal with the pains of maturation, the birth pains, and our own battle of Kuruksetra, all of us really need more of each others protection, and that protection manifests more profoundly in how we allow ourselves to be conduits for Krishna’s and Srila Prabhupada’s mercy.

This experience of leaving the body is frightening and scary at times, full of surprises, pain, and inconveniences, but I also understand that so much of my suffering is just a token due to Srila Prabhupada’s mercy. When I look at all the people that Srila Prabhupada used me to assist in various ways, all of the inconveniences and suffering are surely worth it. So I will now go ahead and join some of those who have already left and help them in making arrangements for so many of you. Isn’t this powerful global inter-planetary family that we have so wonderful?

Lastly, let me say to my biological family, I want to thank all of you for allowing me to take birth in your family so I could hide out a little bit and do the special work that I was sent here to do in connection with previous lifetimes.

There should not be so much ambiguity after my departure as many things have been spoken or written down, for example, how my disciples and well-wishers should continue with various projects. Later there will be a posting of who to contact when one sends in their application for a health grant. The grants will be in gifts of one thousand to three thousand dollars for each legitimate request as long as the money is available. This amount is insignificant but it is just a token from me in an effort to use money that was sent from around the world to cover the cost of my health expenses. It is one way that I want to bring more attention to the fact that it is not just the leaders who should receive so much support, but each dedicated sadhu should be able to look forward to various support systems kicking in for them more and more in the future. When we think more about others’ welfare, Krishna will hear our prayers. He will help us to find more and better ways to do our part in serving our own communities as well as serving the world. We are not Salvationists, we do not want to just give assistance and love only to those of our same faith. We don’t want to be that pseudo spiritualist who just wants to facilitate their own kind. We want to be active agents for global consciousness raising. I love you all and will find even more ways to show it after I leave this body.

Yours in Srila Prabhupada’s Service

With Love

Bhakti Tirtha Swami

PS I want to thank all the wonderful Doctors, nurses, health practitioners and other care takers who assisted me throughout my sickness so nicely. Although you may not have been able to cure me of the disease, you surely healed me with your expert care and love.

I do not believe this.

You don't believe that ACBS explained so?

I especially appreciate this passage and I wish more ISKCON leaders and gurus thought like this about the needs of the devotees who devote their time and service to ISKCON.

Dear Beloved Devotees:

Please accept our humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. All glories to H.H. Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaja.

The arrival of H.H. Jaya Pataka Maharaja marked the beginning of a festive week in Gita-nagari Dhama. Maharaja spent a few hours with Gurudeva in his room, and read to Guru Maharaja from Caitanya Caritamrita. In the evening, H.H. Jaya Pataka Maharaja gave an inspiring class on "vani seva" at the Temple and at the end of the program, Maharaja enlivened devotees by spontaneously distributing cake (it was the birthday of Hari Kirtana d. and Krishna Shakti d.d.) and maha oil from Lord Narasimhadeva in Mayapur. Afterwards, Maharaja extended himself even more by granting devotees darshan until very late at night. The next morning (Mother's Day), Maharaja gave a class from the Caitanya Caritamrita on Motherhood. Maharaja left for Atlanta immediately after the class. We were all so grateful for Maharaja's time, association, and for his visiting our beloved Gurudeva.

A few hours later an initiation yajna was held in the Temple Room for Gurudeva's new initiates, who watched Gurudeva's Vyasa Puja initiation lecture from earlier this year.

That evening, H.H. Radhanatha Maharaja, H.H. Candramauli Maharaja, H.H. Candrashekara Maharaja, H.H. Bhakti Marg Maharaja, several of Srila Prabhupada's disciples, and many other devotees arrived for the Sunday afternoon class from the "Festival of Inspiration" in New Vrindavana and elsewhere; over two hundred devotees attended the program. Gurudeva gave a heart wrenching class on gratitude and he also had everyone laughing when he shared a few of the tricks he used to win all the sports events at the yearly Gita-nagari picnic. Gurudeva demonstrated incredible strength and power while speaking and was so happy to be with all the devotees who came from so many places to be with him.

After speaking, Gurudeva returned to his room and his Godbrothers and Godsisters kept the program going by sharing pastimes about our beloved Gurudeva. Guru Maharaja invited all of his Godbrothers and Godsisters to take prasadam at the House; after honoring prasada, they all met with Gurudeva for almost an hour. We are always in awe of Gurudeva's availability in spite of his feeling so weak.

With the arrival of so many great souls, Gita-nagari's festive mood and activities increased and the environment became surcharged with enthusiasm, care, and affection. The festive atmosphere still remains, even though many of the guests have left Gita Nagari. We are most fortunate to still have H.H. Radanatha Maharaja here with us, who is staying to assist the devotees. Gurudeva is gradually turning inwards and bringing closure to all aspects of his incredible life. One significant example of this shift is Gurudeva recent decision to stop all email correspondence.

Very soon, Mother Vrajalila and Ekavira will send out a letter regarding detailed arrangements for Gurudeva's departure.

Once again, we are so grateful to each and every one of you, who dedicate yourself to Gurudeva's mission in so many different ways and places.

Your servants with love,
Caregivers of H.H. Bhakti-tirtha Swami

*************************

My path is very difficult. I am blind, and my feet are slipping again and again. Therefore, may the saints help me by granting me the stick of their mercy as my support.

- Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami

posted on btswami web site:


Dear Maharajas and Prabhus

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada

In his final letter to the Vaisnava community, H. H. Bhakti Tirtha Swami mentioned that all the remaining laksmi from what had been donated to him for his medical expenses would be put into a fund to provide grants of $1000 to $3000 to devotees requiring financial assistance with their health care.

The fund will come into effect immediately after the departure of H. H. Bhakti Tirtha Swami. To apply for a grant please send a summary of your health challenge and why you feel that you should be one of those who should receive a grant. You must also send in recommendations from three prominent spiritual authorities or personalities who know of your case and also feel that you should receive a grant. Applications are open to the entire Sarasvata family and are not limited to North America but open internationally.

Please send all correspondance to ALL three of the following devotees:
# Dr. Murari Gupta (MD) egmurari@aol.com
# Cintamani Devi Dasi Clinical Psychologist, Phd jparks@acsworld.net
# Vrajalila Devi Dasi Counsellor, MBA vrajalila.bts@pamho.net

Your aspiring servant

Citi-Sakti Devi Dasi

This is good news for devotees suffering from bad health and unable to afford treatment or care and an excellent example for other wealthy leaders to follow. It makes me kind of sad to think about Jaya Radhe, who died from complications dur to hepC a year or two ago. Before she died she mused about the possibility of 'some rich disciple' helping her with an operation (a liver transplant I believe) and I'm ashamed now that I said I thought it was 'tacky' or something like that, to ask devotees for money for yourself and not depend on Krishna to take you or save you. Not exact words but something to that effect. I truly didn't believe she was that sick as she was on the computer so much and 'seemed' to be mentally clear and even happy most of the time. I thought 'no way is she dying' and then one morning her death announcement appeared in one of the 'gone too soon' threads. Here in Canada another Godsister was very, very sick with hepC and had a free operation, paid for by our generous, compassionate medical system and has rebounded with vigour, recovered from her illness. I was so uncompassionate towards Jaya Radhe, and it appears this lack of compassion for our fellow devotees is generally all pervading within the Iskcon or Vaisnava family in general (don't lament for the body?). Hopefully Bhakti Tirtha Swami has broken the mold of iron-caged hearts and for that I bow to his lotus foot (a joke, seeing he still likes telling them). Bhaktavasya

I also was happy that Bhakti Tirtha made this decision about this money going to other devotees. I only wondered about the qualifications of getting various people to attest to your eligibility, but it's up to him to decide some standard or other.

Here is the latest update:

Dear devotees, friends and well wishers,

Please accept our most humble obeisance.
All glories to Srila Bhakti Tirtha Swami our beloved Guru Maharaja.
All glories to ISKCON Founder Acharya Srila Prabhupada.

On behalf of all the caregivers, Ekavira Prabhu and I would like to thank all of you for your love and support. Presently, our Guru Maharaja is extremely weak and tired most of the time; however, his voice is still quite strong. Each day we are reminded of the wonderful pastime of Bhismadeva in the Mahabharata; as he laid on a bed of arrows, he continued to inspire those great souls who came to see him by sharing words of wisdom. Although Gurudeva's body is almost totally broken down, he is still inspiring devotees all over the world.

Presently we do not have a timeline to share regarding when Gurudeva will leave his body; however, we do want to share a brief summary of the departure program.

We will start the program depending on the time that Gurudeva leaves his body.

Devotees in the United States will be notified immediately via automated voice message, the BTSwami List, and btswami.com (and are thus invited to come to Gita-nagari immediately); devotees elsewhere will be notified via the BTSwami List and btswami.com.

When Gurudeva leaves, his body will be bathed, dressed, and samadhi mantras will be placed on his chest; H.H Radhanatha Maharaja and a few other devotees will perform this rite.

During the bathing and dressing rites, devotees will chant soft bhajans at Gurudeva's house.

Next, Gurudeva will be carried on a palanquin through the woods to the Temple, accompanied by a procession of devotees performing kirtan.

When the devotees arrive at the Temple, Gurudeva's body will be brought before Srila Prabhupada and offered Srila Prabhupada's maha garland and candan.

Next, Gurudeva's body he will be brought before Sri Sri Radha Damodara, where the pujari wlll place a maha garland on Gurudeva.

The palanquin and Guru Maharaja's body will then be placed on a specially made bed in front of the Deities.

Simple puja will then be performed, followed by puspanjali and maha-arati; during maha-arati, Gurvastikam, and Guruvandanam, devotees can offer garlands and flowers to Gurudeva's body; after the arati is completed, devotees may circumambulate Gurudeva's body.

**Please bring flower garlands and flowers with you to be offered to Guru Maharaja.**

Flower garlands will be removed from Guru Maharaja's body before being taken to the crematorium; the flower garlands will be saved for the puspa samadhi. Three devotees will accompany Gurudeva's body to the crematorium.

On the weekend following Gurudeva's departure, a short program will include: a feast in honor of Gurudeva, memory katha, and the ground breaking ceremony for the Samadhi Mandir.

In two to three months, an extended festival will be held to commemorate the opening of the Puspa Samadhi Mandir in Gita-nagari.

Gurudeva's ashes will be taken to Sri Mayapura Dhama to be placed in samadhi. The main festival will be held at the opening of the Samadhi in Mayapura.

If you have questions please write to Brahma Muhurta (b@brahmamuhurta.com), Vrajalila (Vrajalila.bts@pamho.net), or Cintamani (jparks@acsworld.com).

Your aspiring servants with love,
Ekavira, Vrajalila, and Brahma Muhurta

-----------------------------------------------------

The following is further explanation of the above from Brahma Muhurta Prabhu:

Dear Devotees,

Please accept my humble obeisance. All glories to Srila Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaja. All glories to ISKCON founder-acarya Srila Prabhupada.

After the departure program of our beloved Spiritual Master was posted, the question regarding the legitimacy of cremating the Spiritual Master or a sannyasi, has become a topic of discussion on message boards, in telephone conversations, and in personal communications. The focus of these discussions is specifically in relationship to the samadhi rites of Srila Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaja. Given that I was asked by Srila Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaja to do the preliminary research in Mayapura and to oversee his final rites; I have been asked to address this question.

Most of my research was conducted under the guidance of Srila Bhakti-vidya-purna Swami Maharaja in Sridhama Mayapura, who is one of the foremost authorities on samskaras, rituals, and vedic culture in ISKCON; additionally, he has supervised the translations and publications of several books on this matter.

While conducting this research, both Maharaja and I realized that because spiritual masters and/or sannyasis did not traditionally depart in the West, there was not much precedence or clear way of performing these rites. One main dilemma was the burial. When a sannyasi passes, he is generally placed in a deep pit and covered with salt; afterwards, a monument (the samadhi) is built above the pit . In India, this is usually done with little or no threat to legality or future security of the site; however, in the U.S.A., this is not so simple. Burial laws vary from state to state and there are many. One must follow different local laws and detailed procedures. Gita-nagari still has an outstanding mortgage and the land is technically owned by the bank. Our research has shown that it is not advisable, neither is it permissible (Gita-nagari does not have local authorization for a cemetery site) to have a burial on land that is not privately owned.

After careful research, contemplation, and lengthy discussions with Srila Bhakti-vidya-purna Swami Maharaja and full agreement by Srila Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaja it was concluded that we cremate Srila Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaja's body and bring his ashes to Mayapura to be put into samadhi.

Now the question comes up of whether or not cremating a sannyasi or spiritual master is a bona fide practice; many are quite aware that Srila Gopala Bhatta Goswami (citing smrti sastras in his Hari-bhakti-vilasa) specifically mentions that sannyasis and spiritual masters are eligible for "full body" samadhi and thus conclude that these personalities cannot be or should not be cremated. One point that should be emphasized: "full body" samadhi is an option for these personalities, but it is not absolute and mandatory. In his handbook for those in the renounced order, Samskara-dipika, which was translated and printed by Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura, republished by Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura, and is used by all Gaudiya Vaishnavas. Srila Gopala Bhatta Goswami gives instruction on the burial:

The body may be placed in tirtha water or in a hole in the earth, which should be one step larger than the height of the person.[Alternatively] If the body has been burnt, the ashes or bones should be taken to a holy tirtha and there placed in earth.

Srila Goswami Maharaja gives this instruction verifying that at the time of Samskara-dipika's compilation, cremation was common--so much so that he included instructions regarding cremation of sannyasis and spiritual masters in his authoritative text.

To support his suggestion of cremation due to time, place, and circumstance, Srila Bhakti-vidya-purna Swami Maharaja related that Srila Jiva Goswami cremated a Srila Krsnadasa Kaviraja, Srila Raghunatha Dasa Goswami and Raghunatha Bhatta Goswami to avoid desecration by the Muslim invaders. In our more recent Vaishnava history, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura was also cremated and his ashes were sent from Jagannatha Puri (were he departed) to Mayapura to be put into samadhi some months after he departed. Thus, it is clear that the bodies of acaryas in our own line were indeed cremated in the past.

Another common question that may need to be addressed is: Why should his ashes go to Mayapura and not remain in Gita-nagari? The first and foremost answer to this, and to any other procedural question is, this is the desire of Srila Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaja. Although Maharaja is quite weak he has been personally involved with all of these arrangements; from picking out and approving his own urn to the spot of his puspa samadhi etc. Secondly, as with the "full body" samadhi, we are concerned with the permanence of Srila Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaja's samadhi; under some unfortunate potential circumstance, we would not want to move his remains (body or ashes) around uncecessarily. Instead, Maharaja chose to have the pupsa samadhi in Gita-nagari. The samadhi will be constructed so that the container with the flowers could be accessed and removed in cases of emergency. There is no difference between the puspa samadhi and the samadhi containing his remains. Srila Prabhupada's puspa samadhi in Mayapura is arguably a much grander building than his "full body" samadhi in Vrindavana and he is just as present in Mayapur. Srila Bhakti-tirtha Maharaja's home is certainly Gita-nagari; however, he is also part of a grander ISKCON and wanted his remains alongside his god-brothers and Srila Prabhupada in Mayapura.

Thank you once again for all of your concerns; this is a very difficult time for all of us. It is so encouraging to see how many devotees care about the welfare of Srila Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaja and it so helpful in our service to have all of your feedback.

Your servant as always,
Brahma Muhurta Dasa

Latest health update--I have to say I am tickled by his requests for certain American foods--some of my favorites too.

Dear Beloved Devotees:

Please accept our humble obeisance. All glories to Srila Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaja. All glories to ISKCON Founder Acharya Srila Prabhupada.

Please forgive us for missing last week's update. In this message, we will attempt to bring you up to date.

Since our last update, Gurudeva has been very much present in his body, and is still experiencing a lot of discomfort, especially because he is unable to sleep and he has to change his sleeping position approximately every hour to avoid bed sores.

Last Saturday, Gurudeva agreed to allow devotees to perform soft kirtan both morning and evening, just outside of his room. The kirtans have been very, very sweet.

Gurudeva continues to request various specific meals including barbequed curd, macaroni and cheese, pizza, lasagna, and of course pies (made with spelt flour and only stevia or a little agave as sweeteners), cooked by a few of his favorite devoted cooks. We especially want to thank those cooks that traveled from as far as California, Columbus, Cleveland, Alachua, and New York to visit and cook Gurudeva's favorite preps.

Last Sunday, Gurudeva and his guests (H.H Radanatha Swami, H.H. Varsana Maharaja, and H.H. Bhakti Visvambara Madhava Maharaja) graced all the devotees with their presence at the Temple for the Sunday evening class. Prior to the class, several visiting disciples performed a lively presentation of "The Kidnapping of Rukmini." When H.H. Bhakti Marg Swami visited Gurudeva the previous week, he inspired the devotees to dedicate their performance to Gurudeva at the Temple Sunday program. Although Gurudeva had informed the actors and actresses that he would not be able to sit through the drama, the devotees were delighted when he arrived to see the last half of the presentation.

Directly after the play, Gurudeva broke into the same kirtan he led two weekends before, "Jaya Jaya Radhe, Jaya Jaya Shyama." He cried while he chanted and throughout the class. Gurudeva spoke on `Departure' he narrated different aspects of the lives of great Saints and Acaryas who have departed. Later, he read his last prayers from his Beggar IV book, "I Died on August 4th 2004." Although this was the first prayer he wrote when he learned he had Melanoma, the prayer had a lasting impact on everyone in the Temple room, especially since this was the last prayer he would be reading and sharing from his "Beggar series".

In the last week and a half, H.H Romapada Swami, H.H Bhakti Vaibhava Swami, and H.H Trivikrama Swami, all came to spend some time with our dearmost Gurumaharaja. H.H Radanatha Swami is one of the caregivers, and will remain with us until after the departure ceremony. The classes and kirtans given by these wonderful and dedicated disciples of Srila Prabhupada has been most enlivening for all the devotees.

Another esteemed guest, H.G. Sangita Mataji returned to Gita-nagari once again to further advise and assist Gurudeva and the direct caregivers. We are both grateful and indebted to Gurudeva's godfamily for their blessings, care, presence and example at this crucial time.

A few days before Narasimha Caturdasi, Gurudeva sent a message to many of our second generation devotees (including three gurukula graduates from Mayapur) to organize another drama about Lord Narasimhadeva. The devotees were so happy to hear Gurudeva's request.

On Sunday, May 22nd (Narasimha Caturdasi), Gurudeva once again returned to the Temple for class. The temple devotees organized a wonderful program for this most auspicious occasion, including an abhiseka for Gurudeva's Narasimha deity. After the abhiseka, children and adults performed several bharatanatyam dances (choreographed by Vrndavanesvari d.d.), which were followed by a thrilling drama (directed by Vrndavanesvari d.d.) that created a joyful atmosphere among the many devotees in the Temple.

When Gurumaharaja was wheeled into the Temple, he smiled radiantly and sang, "Jaya Radhe Jaya Radhe Radhe. Jaya Radhe, Jaya Sri Radhe" He was most affectionate with his sannyasi godbrothers, (H.H. Trivikrama Swami, H.H. Radhanath Swami, and H.H. Bhakti-vaibhava Swami) and glorified them for their dedication and commitment to Srila Prabhupada's mission. Gurudeva also spoke about the power of prayer in relation to the pastime of Prahlad and Lord Narasimha. After the class, Gurudeva invited all of Srila Prabhupada's disciples to the House for a brief meeting and for Lord Narasimhadeva's feast.

We want to thank the devotees from Potomac Temple, the Maryland devotees and all the Gita nagari devotees again for all their support.

Your servants with love,
Cargivers of H.H. Bhakti-tirtha Swami

http://www.btswami.com/archive.php?id=59


Dear Maharajas and Prabhus

Please accept my humble obeisances.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Yesterday afternoon in Gita Nagari Dhama, H. H. Bhakti Tirtha Swami made his final public appearance. He was joined by H. H. Radhanatha Swami, H. H. Gunagrahi Swami, H. H. Bhaktivaibhava Swami, H. H. Bhakti Visvambhara Madhava Swami and H. H. Candramauli Swami. Bhakti Tirtha Swami spoke with great love and compassion to the devotees as he embarked on sixty minutes of honest and open sharing, explaining why this would be his last public appearance. “The time has now come to enter into nirjana bhajana,” Maharaja revealed, sharing his decision to focus on his internal life by engaging in mana-seva (service in the mind). His desire now is only to speak, hear and think about Krsna. Maharaja went on to say that although a devotee is traditionally not meant to reveal his or her internal bhajana, it is also important at this time to consider priti, which involves revealing the mind in confidence and hearing others reveal their minds. In this mood, Maharaja desired to share some of his experiences involving the separation of the body, mind and soul that devotees undergo when they leave their bodies.

He went on to say that his perception of dying on the battlefield was to leave this world like Grandfather Bhismadeva, to preach until his very last breath. At the same time, he realizes that his service to Srila Prabhupada in this body, plane and institution is now over. As a result of his prayer in the mood of Vasudeva Dutta, Maharaja has opened himself up to being used as a puppet by Srila Prabhupada, publicly undergoing the death experience in such a way that he can share it with us, leaving his example as a legacy to assist in preparing us when we, too, one day must leave the body. So in many ways he is still dying on the battlefield.

Maharaja acknowledged that his service to Srila Prabhupada was unorthodox, and that this was both a blessing and a curse. A large part of his preaching involved being attentive to secular happenings on the planet, requiring him to acquire information through which he could relate to people involved in corporate leadership and politics. This was his sacrifice. By extending himself to preach, he fortunately received many blessings, but at the same time, immersing himself in secular subject matter did not supply the deep nourishment necessary for his soul. Now it was time for him to give his complete attention to the pastimes of Lord Krsna in Vraja.

From now on, Bhakti Tirtha Swami explained, the only devotees who would be seeing him personally would be his caregivers and H. H. Radhanatha Swami, who will be staying in Gita Nagari until Bhakti Tirtha Swami departs. Bhakti Tirtha Swami expressed his deep thanks to Radhanatha Swami, whom he views as a very special caregiver sent by Srila Prabhupada to assist him with the transition. If anyone else gets to see him, Maharaja said, it would be as a result of their services - as they bring something into his room, or read krsna katha to him. Only hearing, speaking and thinking of Krsna and Vrndavana from now on, Maharaja cautioned devotees that he would more than likely not respond if any other topic is brought up in his presence. The twice daily kirtana outside his room will continue: although the devotees who come to sing for him may not see Maharaja in person, they should know that he really appreciates their services.

Before closing with three quotes regarding nirjana bhajana, Bhakti Tirtha Swami emphasised the need for us to understand this process properly. Under no circumstances should it be undertaken prematurely.

‘While Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu thus resided at Jagannatha Puri (Nilacala), he was continuously overwhelmed, night and day, by separation from Krsna. Day and night He tasted transcendental blissful songs and verses with two associates, namely Svarupa Damodara and Ramananda Raya. He relished the symptoms of various transcendental emotions such as jubilation, lamentation, anger, humility, anxiety, grief, eagerness and satisfaction. He would recite His own verses, expressing their meanings and emotions, and thus enjoy tasting them with these two friends. Sometimes the Lord would be absorbed in a particular emotion and would stay awake all night reciting verses and relishing their taste.’

(CC. Antya 20.3 – 7)

Thus Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur advocated that every devotee, under the guidance of an expert spiritual master, preach the bhakti cult, Krsna consciousness, all over the world. Only when one is mature can he sit in a solitary place and retire from preaching all over the world. Following this example, the devotees of the International Society for Krsna Consciousness now render service as preachers in various parts of the world. Now they can allow the spiritual master to retire from active preaching work. In the last stage of the spiritual master’s life, the devotees of the spiritual master should take the preaching activities into their own hands. In this way the spiritual master can sit down in a solitary place and render nirjana-bhajana.’

(Srila Prabhupada – SB 4.28.33)

‘In 1977 A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, at the age of 82, suffered illness repeatedly and became in a physically weakened state. He decided to discontinue his travelling around the world and take shelter of Vrndavana dhama, the sacred place of Lord Krsna’s pastimes. He listened and chanted Hare Krsna and meditated on the transcendental pastimes of Krsna, throughout the day and night. However, Srila Prabhupada remained in the association of his loving disciples, who assisted him during his final pastime by chanting, very softly and sweetly, the Hare Krsna mantra 24 hours a day. Srila Prabhupada said that this was his ‘nirjana-bhajana’, and that his sannyasi disciples, including the translator of this work, had to take over the responsibility of travelling and preaching all over the world, as he would not be able to travel anymore. This great spiritual master had taken shelter of Lord Krsna in Vrndavana during the last days of this life.

(H. H. Jayapataka Swami – Commentary on Srila Bhaktisiddhanta’s Vaisnava Ke?, Verse 19)

After answering some questions from gurukulis, Bhakti Tirtha Swami had to leave the programme due to intense bodily discomfort. The remaining sannyasis continued to take further questions. We invite you to listen to the entire class, available on www.btswami.com or www.ifast.net

Your aspiring servant,

Citi-Sakti Devi Dasi

http://www.btswami.com/audio/

Dear Devotees, friends and well wishers,

Please accept our most humble obeisance

All glories to our beloved Gurumaharaja

All glories to ISKCON Founder Acharya Srila Pabhupada

It is almost one week since Gurudeva announced that he was retiring to enter into 'nirjana bhajan.'

His body has started experiencing more pain, however Sangita mataji and the local hospice nurse are assisting Ekavira Prabhu with the proper administation of pills for pain management. Gurudeva is also adjusting to his sleep patterns, last night he was fully awake at 11.00pm, so at that time Brahma Muhurta Das read to him, and Dhruva faned him (he was sweating profusely) until almost 4.00am when he fell asleep for 1 hour intervals until around noon. His eating patterns are also changing, this morning he had some fruits and he did not have a desire to eat again until almost 10.00pm.

The last few nights the men have been bringing Gurudeva out of his room into the sitting room for a few hours to get a change of scenery. Usually he chants, or watches a dvd on the holy tirthas in Vrindavana.

Most importantly, Gurudeva is completely absorbed in chanting and hearing. Each day he seems more happy about the prospects of returning home. The devotees around him are also endevouring to become more absorbed in focusing our consciousness on hearing and chanting. Even though we know that we will grieve deeply when our Gurumaharaja leaves this world, there is a sweetness in the enviornment, knowing that he will most likely soon move out of his deteriating body.

Gurudeva is definitely not answering any phone calls, and not having anymore visitors. We would like to thank all of you for honoring Gurudeva's request to be more internal at this crucial time of making his transition.

Your servants

With Love

The Caregivers

It is sick, in my opinion, how some guru types try to hype their last days into such a big deal. They have the mentality of getting as much attention as possible to the very last sad day of their wasted lives. They make it seem to others that they are so special and 'elevated' above others. Isn't it better to shut up and make peace with the creator?

Love,

YOURMASTER the AUTHORITY

I would appreciate it if you would keep this topic for positive comments regarding Bhakti Tirtha out of respect for his disciples and will wishers during this painful time.

If you want to take this up as a general issue in a respectful manner in another topic, that would be more acceptable.

I think he is honoring his disciples wishes to be able to spend as much time with him or near him as they can before he leaves.

Keep the poison inside yourself.In this place there is no Borgia family.Wrong Forum.

June 6 update (I'm checking a few times a day at this point):

Dear Devotees, Friends and Well Wishers,

Please accept our most humble obeisance

All glories to our beloved Gurumaharaja

All glories to ISKCON Founder Acharya Srila Prabhupada

This week has been much more quiet than usual. All of the visiting Sanyassa and Gurus have left, except of course H.H. Radhanatha Maharaja who spends many hours of his day with Guru maharaja.

Gurudeva's body is getting weaker, and the cancer is spreading. The body is showing more signs that it is under stress. Even though the body is breaking down rapidly, Gurudeva's voice is still as strong as ever, and although he continues to loose weight, he is quite effulgent.

He shared with us how much of a relief it is to actually rest and sleep now, because for so many years as a travelling preacher he never placed much priority on sleeping.

This past Sunday Srila Radhanatha Swami, Gadadhara dasa (his servant) and Brahma Muhurta Dasa went for a few hours to Potomac Temple to participate in the wedding of Kripa Devi and Bhakti Prabhu. Srila Radanatha Swami knew Bhakti Das as a child in New Vrindavana. Immediately after the wedding, Maharaja and the devotees returned to Gita Nagari, where he was scheduled to give the evening class in the Temple. Maharaja enlivened all the devotees with the most ecstatic bhajans that brought everyone to their feet dancing and chanting. After the devotees had danced to their hearts content, Maharaja then absorbed all the devotees in listening to the nectarine pastime of Lord Caitanya and Jagadanada Pandit prabhu. This wonderful evening ended with the scrumptious Sunday Feast prepared by a team of devotees headed by Anasuya and Padma devi Dasi.

Although Gurudeva is not eating so much, he still has an appetite to honour the foods that he likes. Today, Guru Maharaja, Srila Radhanatha Swami and the caregivers had a special treat from Radha Valabha Das, (disciple of Srila Radhanatha swami). He came from New York especially to prepare his delicious pizza for everyone. Brahma Muhurta managed to get a few shots of Gurudeva and Srila Radhanatha Maharaja honouring pizza together. Gurudeva personally thanked Radha Vallabha for his sweet offering. The evening ended with Srila Radhanatha Swami personally serving all the caregivers pizza. Actually as I sat here typing this update, Maharaja came into the office and served two caregivers pizza. It was really embarrassing to be served by Maharaja.

We sincerely want to thank the devotees in the D.C. Maryland, New Jersey and New York for their loving support. We are most appreciative for all the bhoga and flowers that you bring each week.

Your servants

With love

The caregivers

Dear Prabhus

Please accept my humble obeisances, all glories to Gurumaharaja, all glories to ISKCON founder-acarya Srila Prabhupada!!!

Last night and early this morning Gurumaharajs vital signs were very low. This means his blood pressure was very low, his pulse was high and his tempurature high. This vital level could not maintain a physical body for very long, and is usually a sign that the body is shutting down. As the day progressed, Gurumaharaj's vitals improved, and are currently stable. He is weak and has eaten very little (which is common these days). Still, he ate his tofu-ice cream.

Gurumaharaj has been joking a lot. His mood is peaceful and happy, as he remarked today "I am waiting for my chariot to come".

The sweet Krsna magic came forth in such a special way today, with the unexpected appearnace of some very unique and exalted Braja basis. This group of devotees is from Varsana, the birth place of Srimati Radharani, and HH Radhanatha Swami has known them from his time in Vraja before he joined ISKCON. Of all the possible places in the world and all the possible times, these rare devotees happened to be in Harisburg PA (:45 minutes away from Gurumaharaj)!! Somehow HH Radhantah Swami found out a couple of days ago of their presence locally, and arranged for them to come to the Institue House to chant for Gurumaharaj. HH Radhanath Swami has such a deep relationship with these devotees. They are all so genuine, humble, loving - adorned with all the sweet and serene qualities of a real Krsna-bhakta. As they were taken in HH Radhanatha Swamis Van, spontaneously Maharaj began discussing with them such a vivid description of Akrura taking Krsna from Vrndavana.

With Maharaj these Vraja basis came into Gurudevas quarters. They began to chant Braj basi bhajans about Srimati Radharani. There was one flute player. As soon as Maharaj heard the flute he began crying, and continued for around 20 minutes. They chanted mostly bhajans about Srimati Radharani. Gurumaharaj was so please and exstatic. He said - "today Vrndavana came to me".

There are so many special instances were the spiritual world becomes more overt in the Institute house. The other day Gurumaharaj was requesting more picture of Vrndavan and of the Vraj-basis. In their thoughtfullness of catering to Gurudevas wishes, the care givers became prayerful of coming upon a way to cover up the large book shelf that offers a somewhat blank glare at Gurudeva throughout the day. Several days latter our Godborther Isana Gaura comes with a large canvas picture of Radha and Krsna, just big enough to cover the bookshelf

We will be sending out daily reports now.

We hope everyone is blissfully "dying" on their battlefiled, as Gurumaharaj is dying on His. May we all die before we die.

Your servant,

Purusa-sukta das

June 11 update:

Dear Prabhus,

Please accept my humble obeisances, all glories to His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami, all glories to ISKCON founder-acarya Srila Prabhupada!

Last night Gurudeva slept well, 6 hrs straight. His vital signs are stable, while some bodily functions are slowing down. He took a lot of fluids today.

Basically everyday Gurumaharaj is in anticipation to return home.

It is taking him a much longer time to chant his rounds. Radhanatha Maharaj extolled Gurudeva as a modern day example of Hari Das Thakur. And at the end of the day Ekavira Prabhu remarked "for me the thing that stuck out the most today was his example, his chanting of his rounds. He is doing it for us, to set an example. He is not just sick, he is dying. Yet in this condition he is chanting his prescribed rounds just to set and example for us." Up until recently Gurudeva was chanting 20 rounds daily, in addition to continuous hearing of lila. He is continuing with 16 rounds.

Today a 24 hr kirtana at the Institute house began. In the living room select bhajaneers, usually duets, chanted very softly for Gurudeva throughout the day and into the night, a short distance from his bedroom

In general Gurudeva was, as Vrajalila described, more grounded in his body. In the morning and afternoon he was encountering a good deal of discomfort.

Gurumaharaj hardly ate anything until HH Radhanath Swami came around 4:30pm. Gurudeva was feeling very fatigued. Usually Maharaj will meet with Gurudeva and then take prasadam separately, however today Gurudeva requested that Maharaj take prasadam with him in his room. At his usual moderate pace Radhanath Swami eventually finished honoring prasadam to find Gurudeva had a long ways to go. As Maharaj walked back to his vehicle he remarked to his servant "that was amazing, Bhakti-tirtha Maharaj was so fatigued when I went in there, he was eating so slow, but once we started getting into some topics (about Krsna), he became filled with energy, and sat up enlivened and got right into it." Among other things, Radhantha Swami chanted one song by Narotama das thakur, and they read the translation together

Yesterday a similar incident took place when Gurudevas vital signs went so low. His speech became slurred, his hands were cold. Then, all of a sudden he sat up and started directing the devotees on how the room should be arranged for his departure. He directed things with vigor until everything was in the proper harmony. Then Varajalila remarked to Gurudeva "your life air has come back", Gurumaharaj then sighed with disappointment

As Gurudeva retired for the evening he said that from a scale from 1-10 his pain is a 2 or a 3. He is situated nicely. He remarked to Vraja Lila "So do not worry, it is all in Krsna's time." He was smiling.

Afterward some of the care takers were relishing a video made by Isana Gaura Prabhu. This is a slide show on DVD, with images of Gurudeva along with Srila Prabhupada and Their Lordships. They are going through such a deep personal service. They are not just with Gurudeva physically, they are following along spiritually. May we also follow in their footsteps.

May we all die before we die

Your servant,

Purusa-sukta das

June 12 update:

Dear Prabhus,

Please accept my humble obeisance, all glories to ISKCON founder-acarya Srila Prabhupada, all glories to His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami.

Last night (Friday night) Gurumaharaj was graced with a good nights rest. He slept a full 8hrs! He also slept a little more, latter in the morning. His bodily functions are continuing to slow down. His vital signs were the same as yesterday (stable).

Before taking rest Friday night Brahma-mahurta Prabhu read the Govardhana Lila to Gurudeva, and as Gurumaharaj slept the narration continued. This particular narration (not informed to me) details the loving interactions Lord Sri Krsna had with the myriad devotees accompanying Him under Govardhana. The 24 hr kirtan, implemented that day, also accompanied Gurudeva into his rest. He praised the sweetness of the kirtan and its soothing voices.

After rising Saturday Gurudeva absorbed himself in chanting japa, which continued for quite sometime. Then he met with HH Radhanatha Swami around 5:15pm. Again they took prasadam together. This is a very special time of Gurumaharaja's day, his relationship with Maharaj being so unique; such a deep and intimate friendship. They passed their meal with many sweet humorous exchanges - transcendental joking. Gurumaharaj ate a full meal. HH Radhanath Swami spent nearly two hours with Gurudeva, having katha. They were reading and discussing from one song book (not informed to me).

Gurumaharaj was in anticipation for the special event to take place in the evening. After their meeting, Radhanatha Swami was to go into the living room and sing bhajans with all the local devotees for Gurudeva, as he rested in his room. The caregivers arranged for this only earlier in the day. Still it was nicely organized, and so many devotees attended. Gopal Prabhu decorated the living room with Large Krsna art paintings from the temple room, and Devavati Prabhu made many beautiful flower arrangements. All the devotees who attended were able to sit comfortably and immerse themselves in the bhajan. As I scanned the room from the front, to see how the devotees were enjoying the kirtana, I came to the conclusion that Vraja Lila Prabhu was relishing it the most. At one point she got up and lightly danced. She was all the way in the very back. It is said that the further down the transcendental chain one goes (das das das anudas...) one derives a greater extent of spiritual pleasure. Vraja Lila was certainly in a mood of pleasing all of the devotees there.

It is so nice to see such unity and Vaisnava seva happening at this time. How pleasing this must be to Gurumaharaj. May it only increase!

May we all become immersed in the nectar ocean of Vaisnava seva.

We hope everyone is blissfully "dying" on their battlefield, as Gurumaharaj is dying on His.

May we all die before we die.

Your servant,

Purusa-sukta das

6/14/2005
From HH Bhakti Caru Swami
Filed under:

* Announce

— site admin @ 6:16 pm

MUMBAI, 11th May 2005 9:30 pm

Nowadays wherever I go, I tend to speak about Bhakti Tirtha Maharaj. I came to Mumbai this morning. In the evening Brajahari Prabhu, the Temple President of Bombay, came to see me and our discussion gradually veered towards Bhakti Tirtha Maharaj. During that discussion it occurred to me that I should phone Gita-Nagari and find out how Maharaj was. I thought that I would only ask about Maharaj’s health condition. However, when the devotee who answered the phone found out that it was me she insisted that she would take the phone to Maharaj and ask him whether he would like to speak to me.

Maharaj’s voice sounded strong and resonant as ever, and he casually mentioned that he now has only a few days to live. He did not seem to be concerned at all about leaving his body. Rather he was speaking about the positive effects that his situation was creating. He mentioned that recently, in a festival in New Vrndavan when they were showing a video tape of his class, all the devotees there started to cry. After the festival, last Sunday, about 35 devotees came to Gita-Nagari to see him, and he had such a wonderful exchange with them.

I told him that on the Sunday before last I spoke about him during the Sunday feast lecture Durban, and after the lecture when I announced that his latest book, the spiritual worrier has just arrived and requested them to take a copy, about 100 people stood in a queue to take that book. In just 15 minutes I distributed 96 copies. He told me that he heard about that and thanked me profusely.

He mentioned that Jayapataka Maharaj came to see him. The meeting was most memorable. He had a long discussion with him and it gave him a great joy to be with him. Jaya Pataka Maharaj became very emotional and refused to accept that he will be leaving this planet soon. He was telling him that Krsna is Yogeswara and he can perform any miracle. It made me also think that it would be so wonderful if Krsna performed such a miracle. When I told that to him, he disapproved of that idea, “No there is no need.” He said, “It is better that I leave. To tell you the truth, the way I am leaving will have a bigger effect than my staying.”

In a meditative voice he started to speak, “I have a heavy nature. I am quite brash and rude and aggressive and passionate. And as a result of that many devotees often misunderstood me. They also reacted in a heavy way, and did not really get to see my real intention. As a result of that we got into conflicts, and animosity developed. It is not good that sadhus become inimical towards each other. Those who are meant to spread love all over the world if they start to hate each other then who will save the world. I wanted to love everybody, but you can see what happened. Therefore, it is better that I leave. Then probably everyone will reconsider my intentions and understand me better. I feel that I can render greater service now by leaving than staying. One girl from Australia wrote, “Guru Maharaj had to be dying before we became a little more serious.”

“I simply want to play like a puppet in Srila Prabhupada’s hand. Let him do whatever he wants to do with me. Live or die, what difference does it make. After all death is just a matter if changing body. Now I can see, through all that is happening to me, my heart has opened up so much. It is so wonderful to become free from false ego, free from all the impurities in the heart.”

I felt a surge of emotion. My heart ached with the thought that the devotee who had been so exemplary all along and who has achieved the height of his spiritual purity soon we will become deprived of his association. We could have taken so much advantage of him and enriched ourselves, but that good fortune will not last for long. When I started to express that feeling, he chuckled and told me in his usual childish manner, “You know, you sound so much like Srila Prabhupada. Always encouraging. And the disturbance in the phone line is also making your voice sound just like him. May be this is Krsna’s arrangement. Through you He is trying to teach me something.”

I asked him whether the last letter he wrote to the devotees was really his last one. He replied, “Yes, that is my last letter to the community of devotees. I will not communicate on that plane anymore, but I will communicate on some other plane. After all our relationship is eternal, and those who are pure will continue to remain together and serve together. I am so happy that I have a God-brother like youI..”

He started to glorify me. He started to recall how Srila Prabhupada treated me and showered so much mercy upon me. I felt embarrassed to hear that, what to speak of writing that down for everyone to read. Therefore, I am not writing then here.

When I expressed my embarrassment to him. He responded by saying, ” I am not flattering you. What does a dying man have to gain by flattering some one.”

He spoke about the importance of our movement and need of pure and unmotivated leadership. He kept on emphasizing the need for honest and powerful leadership whom everyone can trust and follow without any hesitation and reservation. When the followers will have such confidence in the leaders then only they will offer themselves unconditionally.

I told him that, that is why we needed a leader like him to continue to stay on guide us. The kind of preaching he was doing, only he could do that: to the topmost leaders of this world and leave such a deep impression in their hearts. Even those who had been inimical to our movement became favorable after meeting him and speaking to him. The ex prime minister of Mauritius, Mr. Jagannath, was one such person. I remembered his speech in the “World Hindu Conference” in Durban, where he was one of the keynote speakers. His speech was so well received, that everyone stood up and continued to clap for a long time. He won everyone’s heart wherever he went.

He told, “I pray to Srila Prabhupada that I may continue to serve him. I have been able to serve him through this body, it has been a great experience. Now that I have to leave this body because it is not fit to render any service any more. I really look forward to a better body andbetter situation to continue with my service.”

I felt an immense gratitude towards Srila Prabhupada. I could practically see that due to his teachings how this fortunate soul achieved spiritual perfection. What I read in the pages of scriptures became practically demonstrated by this wonderful God-brother of mine. I could not contain my emotion and started to tell him, “I feel so fortunate that I have become connected to you. You have achieved your spiritual perfection. You have transcended the bondage of the body and became perfectly situated in your spiritual identity. You have conquered death and have achieved the highest spiritual perfection. In the scriptures it has been described as “swarup siddhi” - the perfection of ones spiritual identity. This is the stage when the spirit soul, even in spite of being in the material body, is liberated. This is the state of “Jivan Mukta".

He probably felt a little embarrassed and said, “It is nice of you that you are saying this things about me.”

I continued to express my anguish at the thought of losing him, my very dear god-brother and friend, who I had so much to learn from and who could have helped me so much in my journey to the lotus feet of Srila Prabhupada. I could not find any possible justification in this arrangement of Krsna.

He assured me, “Don’t worry, even after I leave, I will come to you. We will continue to communicate with each other. You know that the physical plane is not the only plane for us to relate to each other. The real plane is the spiritual one and on that plane we are eternally related to each other.”

I requested, “Please do. You will be in a much better position to communicate from that plane, and please bless me that I can become free from all my anarthas to be able to communicate with you.”

He assured me that he would. Then after a little pause he told, “If I die tomorrow, I am happy that I had this conversation with you.”

Journal of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami’s final pastimes. 6/11-6/12 Saturday evening and Sunday morning.

Gurumaharaj had another good nights rest. He slept 8 hours and then another 1 hour and 15 minutes. His vitals are stable. As soon as he woke immediately he began chanting.

Last night after the bhajans Gurumaharaj expressed his appreciation of the devotees for their presence and their chanting. He was deeply relishing the chanting of the Srila Radhanatha Swami and the devotees. When Radhantha Swami began to chant, in the privacy of his room Gurumaharaj closed his eyes, sat back, and began to rock back and forth along with kirtana. Shortly after Maharaja'™s kirtana, the 24hr kirtana continued with Advaita Acarya and Gopal, and Gurumaharaj continued to relish the Holy names. At this time he was settled down for his evening rest. As he lay and listened to serene chanting of Advaita Acarya he commented that it was like a lullaby of the Holy Names. Brahma-mahurta Prabhu narrated Krsna-lila to Gurudeva as his body went to rest.

I will try to update the devotees daily between 10am and noon, about that morning and previous night and day beginning tomorrow.

May we all die before we die.

Your servant,

On behalf of the caregivers of HH Bhakti-tirtha Swami

Purusa-sukta das



Journal of the Final Pastimes of Srila Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaj. Sunday 6/12 (Morning) Monday 6/13 (Morning)

After Gurumaharaj woke yesterday he engaged in chanting japa and hearing readings of Krsna-lila until 4pm. As it was Sunday, Gurumaharaj asked the devotees normally scheduled to carry on the 24hr kirtana to attend the Sunday class, given by HH Radhanatha Swami. In their place Gurudeva asked the caregivers to fill-in. They did so with great delight, chanting from 4pm until around 6pm. Afterwards they went into Gurudeva's room to find him peacefully asleep (something uncommon at this time of day). Shortly thereafter Gurumaharaj awoke, smiling and effulgent. He was very happy.

At 7pm Gurudeva met with Srila Radhnatha Swami. This meeting began with their new custom of eating together. As usual, the mood during prasadam started with joy and humor and, as usual, faded into an enthralling and serious discussion. Gurudeva ate only a little.

Gurudeva took rest at 10pm and woke at 11:30pm. After rising he engaged in japa, with the other caregivers in his room, until 3:30am. Gurumaharaj slept again until 6:30am. and then again from 7:30am-9:30am. Throughout the night he was in more pain than usual. The caregivers plan to monitor the pain even more closely and may increase the pain medication.

Normally Gurudeva has a concentrated 2hr period for his japa, and then continues for some hours interspersing japa with Krsna-lila readings (parikrama recordings or readings by the caregivers from literature by our acaryas describing Krsna-lila ). Gurudeva likes that each day some caregivers join him for japa during this concentrated period, usually 10:30am -12:30pm. The caregivers continue to be amazed by Gurudeva's effort to set an example of dedication to japa - dedication to ones vows. HH Radhanatha Swami also commented that this is an attribute of Gurudeva's magnificent and simple love for Srila Prabhupada “ his persistence with his vow to Srila Prabhupada to chant a minimum of 16 rounds, despite being so physically challenged in the process.

The Sunday class given by Srila Radhanatha Swami was very special and very important for all of us to hear and understand. Maharaj spoke about the spiritual perspective of a great souls suffering and death. He mainly drew from the lila of Srila Haridas Thakur willfully departing form this world. He focused on how these lilas illustrate the deep love between the Lord and his pure devotee. There has been additional dialog with Maharaj on these points, and we will send out a summary in the next day or so.

May we all die before we die.

All glories to the magnificent closing pastimes of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaj. May these lessons always stay with us.

On behalf of the caregivers of HH Bhakti-tirtha Swami,

Your servant,

Purusa-sukta das

Journal of the Final Pastimes of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami. Monday 6/13 Tuesday morning 6/14

On Monday Gurudeva was in more pain than he has been in the past few weeks. This morning, Tuesday, the pain came under control by the caregivers administering additional pain medication. Gurumaharaja’s vitals are stable, he rested 7hrs.

Ironically the height of Gurumaharaja’s pain was when he went out to see Lord Jagannatha yesterday. Those of us who were in Gurumaharaja’s presence would have to be told this information, for his appearance outwardly gave no indication of it, being so serene and blissful.

What a wonderful pastime this was! At one point Srila Radhanatha Swami said to Gurudeva, you missed Ratha Yatra this year, so Lord Jaganatha has come to you - and you had your own Ratha Yatra!!!

Can you imagine it? Gurudeva leading kirtana, playing the kartals and chanting for nearly ten minutes! His mood was so special. With such a genuine, simple yet rich love, Gurudeva immersed himself in the Lord’s Darsana, and from time to time slowly rotated his head to carefully view the devotees on one side of him, and then gently brought himself to view the devotees on the other side. He had such a sweet and simple appreciation for all the devotees there. It was so sweet. As Lord Jaganatha views the needy masses out of His love for them, infusing them with hope, Gurumaharaj sweetly looked upon us with such genuine love and appreciation, infusing us all with great hope.

Gurudeva did speak to us briefly, and the full transcription has been attached to this message. Below are his closing remarks to us. This talk is monumental. We should all meditate on it deeply. Bear in mind that this address was given when Gurudeva was at the peak of his pain. When the pain led Gurudeva to decide to take his leave, rather than run back inside away from the scorching heat, with deep care and attention Gurudeva carefully arranged for prasadam to be distributed to all the devotees, and then personally distributed the prasadam to everyone with his own hands. He did this with radiant happiness. Eventually the caregivers prompted Gurudeva to be taken to the porch. There he continued to distribute the prasdam to everyone. He distributed it with such genuine humility, care and attention. Several times he asked if everyone had received prasdam. He waited so patiently until everyone had received, and then when he finished the distribution he gave another short address which I have listed here:

Gurudeva: “Thank you all. Be happy huh. My tears in the last few weeks or so have been mainly tears of joy, tears of happiness, tears of satisfaction. Krishna has given us such a wonderful family under Prabhupada, under the Saraswata family... and that we have wonderful chance to take advantage of this life, and we have wonderful chance to be part and we have chance to be victorious. We come into this world as a school and now we have chance to graduate with the highest certificate.

So as we say we are blessed by the best and we won’t settle for nothing less, so all of us we do have our individual tests. So be ready to pass your tests, because you will have your tests. And it will be glorious if you can just depend on Krsna and recognize that He controls everything. I’m working on that myself, trying to accept and understand how Krsna'™s controlling everything. And so I’ll pray for you and you pray for me in the same way. And we’ll pray to Prabhupada that we will not disappoint him - so we’ll be his spiritual warriors. So many nice sadhus and gurus that Prabhupada has made available for all of you. So please take advantage of them and be like Savitri. Be greedy (laughter), be greedy for the mercy. Never wait for mercy to descend on you. It doesn'™t happen that way. You have to have GREED. Now don’t you knock anybody else over (laughter). But you definitely got to position yourself to make sure that you get the mercy.

So I thank you all very much. Nsringhadeva Bhagavan ki! Jaya! Sri Sri Radha Damodara ki! Jaya! Vaisnava Thakura ki! Jaya!!!

We love you all (We love you Gurudeva!). Our love will constantly increase, and that is the beauty,that the material relationships, all the lust that comes and goes and turns into anxiety, but where there is love, it unfolds and it radiates and it becomes something sweeter and sweeter. Jaya! (Jaya Gurudeva!!!)”

As Gurudeva was taken inside, Advaita Acarya led an ecstatic Nsringhadeva kirtan before Lord Jagannatha.

So please take advantage of the full transcription attached to this message. For those reading this on the web site, this should be available as a separate file somewhere.

May we all die before we die.

May the sacrifice and wisdom imparted to us by His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami become an active part of our life!

On behalf of the caregivers of HH Bhakti-tirtha Swami Your servant, Purusa-sukta das

Bhakti Tirtha Swami: So I'm not to be speaking : I made this vrata of nirjana-bhajana. But I never: I think that we can never stop from thanking and offering our appreciation. So I want to offer our appreciations for the wonderful devotees who have brought Jagannatha down. They are so beautiful, so sweet, ha? To be so close to Them, to gaze upon Their just gorgeous eyes.

I had chance to visit Jagannatha Puri many years ago when Prabhupada first left the planet. And I somehow was able to get in and I pretty much begged for three things; two I remember distinctly and the other one was not so important, maybe it will come back to me. But I begged to be free of the sex desire so that I could remain as a sannyasi. I begged also: I think the second one was to be free of enviousness-such a serious issue that is blocking devotees' progress. And I also, most important, begged for the success of the Institution. Because when the guru leaves many, many problems come about that we cannot even imagine. So I begged to Lord Jagannatha that somehow He would allow me this opportunity to come so close to Him to beg for the welfare, success and progress of the Institution. So literally I was: you know the story. So I was brought up to Lord Jagannatha, literally to touch His feet to my head-just put on the altar, pressed up against each of the Deities and we circumambulated. The priest pulled me out and circumambulated me around the Deity, stopping at each of the Deity's feet, offering special prayers.

So I see this as the time I can do something similar-that I can beg for the success of the Movement, beg for the success particularly of my disciples in carrying out the orders of Srila Prabhupada and fulfilling the desires that Prabhupada has given us-the request that I have made to you. And to pray that any lingering touches of any kind of false ego, fears, attachments, sense gratification will be snatched away out of my mind. So I pray that for you also. I don't know if we have any prasadam that I could pass out. Is there something?

Pujari: We have an offering to make plus we have something pass out now.

Bhakti Tirtha Swami: Something : If it's not offered, then we can offer also.

Pujari: We have some offered, and we can offer another plate.

Bhakti Tirtha Swami: OK. Let us take: I am in great pain now and I have to go: but let us take what is already offered and we will mystically manifest more if we don't have enough. So: don't worry about not having enough. [hands out rasagulla to the little kids] We'll give to the little darlings: Gopal, you are darling, but you are not a little kid. [laughter] Devotees who brought the Deities down, thank you so much. I appreciate it, I really appreciate it.

I'm like the Haridasa Thakura of ISKCON in one sense. I am: low birth, low [?] but somehow, by Prabhupada's mercy, he has given me some special blessings to serve. And this is the nature of our movement. Our movement: the movement is so highly endowed by the blessings of Lord Nityananda so that prithivite ache yata nagaradi grama, so that the message would be spread in every town and every village and everyone would get an opportunity.

So Gopal you're getting after [hands rasagulla to Gopala d].

Dhruva d: : may I take this from you. We've got some cookies, Gurudeva.

Bhakti Tirtha Swami: [continues to pass out rasagullas] Did you get one? You want two, darling? I'll come back to you.

Dhruva d: We've got some cookies here:

Bhakti Tirtha Swami: : OK. Now we go to the cookies. So those who already have: because I can't see: [devotees make way for those who didn't get prasadam] :You really understand laulyam, greed. He knows you're very special, but we can't show in the public, can you? People will think, "Maharaja's favorite." OK: It is so nice because I am not appearing in the public anymore, so how nice is that we could all be together and be able to have Subhadra, Baladeva, and Balarama to personally come to our Gita Nagari Dhama. You already got:

Pujari: It's all Their mercy, Maharaja. First time They came here.

Bhakti Tirtha Swami: Just like in the case where, Haridasa cannot go to Them, but then Lord Caitanya He came to see Haridasa. :

[keeps handing out cookies] Hare Krsna, Mataji, how are you. Try to come a little faster. : Mother Indrani: How are you?

Mother Indrani: Hare Krsna, Gurudeva. Thank you so much.

Bhakti Tirtha Swami: I couldn't give you when I gave out the kids. You are full of youth, full of vigor.

Mother Indrani: Thank you, Gurudeva!

Bhakti Tirtha Swami: Hare Krsna. You are getting so big:

Dhruva d: Maybe we should go in now, Gurudeva. Come.

Bhakti Tirtha Swami: OK. Is there anyone who didn't get? I want to give everyone.

Dhruva d: Maybe we can do that from the porch. Let's go to the porch.

Bhakti Tirtha Swami: [indistinct, talks to Dhruva] Are there still more? Quite a number who didn't get? All we're gonna do is just to the porch and I'll be there for three minutes only.

[caretakers move Maharaja to the porch; Advaita Acarya d starts kirtana]

Bhakti Tirtha Swami: [continues handing out cookies] Only those who didn't get. [kirtana continues]

[kirtana stops] Thank you all. Be happy, ha. My tears in the last ten weeks or so are mainly tears of joy, tears of happiness, tears of satisfaction that Krsna has given us such a wonderful family under Prabhupada, under the Sarasvata family and that we have a wonderful:

The Journal of the Final Pastimes of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami. Wednesday 6/15 through Thursday morning 6/16.

The increased pain we reported Gurudeva having yesterday morning persisted for sometime. Towards the end of yesterday the additional medication subdued the pain. Gurudeva’s voice was weaker. He was able to rest well, 8 hours in two intervals. This morning Gurudeva was in a stable condition, the pain was lessened and controlled. His voice was stronger.

Yesterday Gurudeva honored prasadam early in the afternoon, thereafter he met with Srila Radhanatha Swami. After this, 6pm or so, two caregivers alternated reading to Gurudeva until 10pm. Later, while Gurudeva was apparently in deep sleep, the 24 hour kirtana held outside of his room stopped, and to the surprise of the caregiver in the room Gurudeva softly commented “why have they stopped chanting?”

Yesterday Gurudeva spontaneously gave a darsan to the caregivers. He shared some things about understanding his illness from a physical, subtle and spiritual point of view. He left some time for questions and answers. Vraja Lila Prabhu latter commented that she feels Gurudeva was trying to bring the caregivers closer together. She sees that Gurudeva frequently finds ways of doing this. Without question Gurudeva is the lead caregiver.

Another lead caregiver is Radhanatha Swami. The other day Maharaj stayed up until 2am with Ekavira and Vrajalila, giving his association to them for over 3 hours straight. Maharaj continues to make himself so available to support especially the caregivers, as well as all the devotees visiting or residing at Gita Nagari. Gurudeva refers to Maharaj as the “special caregiver”.

May we all die before we die. May the timeless import of these pastimes protect us for all time to come.

On behalf of the caregivers of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami Maharaj,
Your servant,
Purusa-sukta das

I'm feeling like this weekend I want to light candles for Bhakti Tirtha, that his passing be exactly as he hopes it will be in all respects. (So as not to project my own wishes onto it...)

another update from today, I post these for those of you who are following his illness and approaching death and because I doubt his caregivers will mind.

__

The Journal of the Final Pastimes of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami, Thursday June 16th, Friday morning June 17th.

The increased pain that recently came upon Gurudeva fluctuated yesterday. Gurudeva’s breathing has been irregular, and the rate of irregularity is increasing. This is a sign that his departure will occur in the near future. Gurudeva's appetite over the past few days continues to diminish. His vitals fluctuated a little early this morning, but as of latter morning were stable. His pain is under control, and he slept well last night.

Yesterday all seven of the brahmacaris from the Bhaktivedanta Asrama in Mahanhattan, led by Yajna Purusa Prabhu, along with Govinda Prabhu from the Chowpatty BA, came for a daylong stay. Their mission was twofold, 1) to offer another transcendental pizza feast for the spiritual fulfillment of Gurudeva and the caregivers, and 2) offering an extensive presence in the 24 kirtana. Unfortunately Gurudeva was able to only eat one and a half slices of Radhavallabha Prabhu’s famous pizza. (Radhavalabha Prabhu made 16 pies of pizza!). The New York devotees offered kirtana from 5pm-7pm and 9pm until 3am! World famous bhajaneer Keshavacarya, formerly from Switzerland, was the featured chanter. At one point the caretakers went in to find Gurudeva with his eyes shut, swinging his head back and forth as he absorbed himself in the kirtan.

The caregivers noted how reflective Gurudeva is about the mercy and blessings of Srila Prabhupada, and how Lord Krsna facilitates everything we have to experience. He takes his life one day at a time, considering each day to be his last. Gurudeva is concerned about the devotees. He wants that the devotees are ready for his departure, which could occur any day now.

Though his body and health are steadily digressing, upon awakening this morning Gurudeva said that he was fired up, and in eagerness to engage in japa he immediately asked for his beads and to be taken to the living room to chant japa.

Both by rising and by setting, the sun decreases the duration of life of everyone, except one who utilizes the time by discussing topics of the all-good Personality of Godhead, and chanting His holy names. (SB 2.3.17)

May we all die before we die

May the final pastimes of His Holines Bhakti-tirtha Swami always be remembered.

On behalf of the caregivers of HH Bhakti-tirtha Swami,

Your servant,

Purusa-sukta das

The Journal of the Final Pastimes of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami. Friday 6/17 through Saturday morning 6/18.

The caregivers report that Gurudeva’s increased pain is coming under control. They are still working with it, slightly increasing the pain medication yesterday. For brunch Gurudeva ate 3 pieces of pizza, some non-dairy ice cream and cookies (Jai!). In the evening he ate very little. He woke at 4:15 this morning, after plenty of rest. As of 9:00am his vitals are stable.

In the late morning His Holiness Radhanatha Swami came over. Maharaj was stopping by to get permission from Gurudeva to go to a program he was scheduled to do in Potomac (Washington D.C.), scheduled now since 3 months. This program was arranged by Gauravani Prabhu and his wife Vrndarani Prabhu, for other Gurukulis to join with them in honoring prasadam and extensively relishing the holy name with Maharaj. The program was to take place in the comfort of Gauravani and Vrndarani Prabhu’s large and scenic back yard. Maharaj was considering that Gurudeva’s health may be too poor them to be separated for a whole day. When he asked if he should go, Gurudeva immediately replied with hearty conviction, You must go! You must go and represent us both!. Before Maharaj departed, Gurudeva again remarked, I am so grateful that you can go and represent me also.

Gurudeva is still focused on chanting the holy names and hearing Krsna’s pastimes, and everyday he expresses appreciation for the devotees chanting in the 24 kirtana. Yesterday afternoon he viewed a production by Bhurijan Prabhu of Gurukuli children chanting bhajan and reciting Prabhupada lila from the condensed Lilamrta. When Gurudeva heard these Gurukulis chanting he received so much pleasure. A broad smile came upon his face and he remarked ‘the kids kirtana is so amazing.’

For maybe the first time in his devotional life Gurudeva slept during the day yesterday. As expected, fatigue comes with the dying process. Still Gurudeva was always so adamant to not waste his any of his time in Srila Prabhupada’s service (not sleeping during the day, not even a snap!). During his bout with cancer and his process of dying he has always fought the tendency to sleep during the day, with great determination. Yesterday afternoon however, he could not avoid resting his body, and slept for nearly five hours. Upon wakening Gurudeva looked at his watch, which read 8:00. It was still daylight out, much like it is in the morning time. So upon reading his watch Gurudeva remarked ‘Ok, good I can get up and start chanting.’ In response Ekavira Prabhu said ‘Ok Gurudeva, but its not 8am - its 8PM!” To this Gurudeva’s eyes widened and he smiled, he was doubtful, ‘You’re kidding?! Don’t play with me!” “We are serious Gurudeva” Ekavira replied. With some amazement and disbelief Gurudeva questioned, “You guys! Are you serious!?” This exchange went on for a good 15-20 minutes, Gurudeva was in a rather humors and innocent state of disbelief. With his smile and wide eyes he kept looking around lightly expressing his disbelief to the caregivers present. Finally when Gurudeva saw that the sun was in motion to set for the evening he accepted the caregivers notion of time.

The caregivers are noting that Gurudeva’s smile, which was always so brilliant and empowering, is much deeper and animated these days. When he smiles nowadays his eyes light up so brightly, and his eyebrows often dance.

May we all die before we die May the life and wisdom of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami always comfort us.

On behalf of the caregivers of HH Bhakti-tirtha Swami,

Your servant,

Purusa-sukta das

The Journal of the Final Pastimes of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami. June 18 '“ June 19 morning.

This morning, 10am, Gurudeva was still resting since about 5:15am, so there is no report of his vitals as of today. Yesterday evening his vitals were stable. Gurudeva slept a lot. From last night and early evening, in two segments, Gurudeva slept for nearly 10 ½ hours. We may be relived to know that when Gurudeva is lying down he does not experience much pain. His motor functions continue to slow down and his appetite continues to decrease. Gurudeva's condition is more delicate now, and the caregivers are ensuring that sufficient assistance is available at all times. The caregivers are sensitive to not unnecessarily prompt Gurudeva to eat, as this can cause excessive gas. They are careful to ensure that Gurudeva takes plenty of fluids.

Even though physically very weak, Gurudeva is still quite playful. Last night Srila Radhanatha Swami had to lean over him to hear his faint voice. While they were talking in this way one caregiver came into the room to find something in the corridor closet and while searching made a bit too much noise (way too much noise). Radhantha Swami was straining to hear Gurudeva. All of a sudden Gurudeva asked, "Who is that?" Another caregiver replied ( to be considerate we will say) 'Krsna das' (not a real caregivers name). Then Gurudeva manifested a strong voice, colored with playfulness, and remarked: "Hey Krsna das, do you think you could make any more noise?" Radhanatha Swami and some others in the room chuckled at this, and this particular caregiver, quite humbled, immediately came out and offered obeisances.

Yesterday Rukmini and Anuttama Prabhus (God siblings of Gurudeva) made arrangements to come to chant for Gurudeva, outside of his room. They chanted in the evening and morning with such genuine enthusiasm. They also were able to give their time to the caregivers. In particular they have a close relationship with Vraja Lila and Ekavira. Everyone was delighted by their presence.

Another sweet exchange, that will be uplifting for many of us, occurred yesterday. One of Gurudeva's senior brahmacari disciples from Argentina, Mahajan Prabhu, has been serving as Gurdeva's 'laundry wala' (laundry man) for several months now. Each day he cleans and irons Gurudeva's clothes and linen, and later personally delivers it to him. He also assists in any way he is asked. Overall Mahajan Prabhu has not received much personal association with or personal service to Gurudeva, before he came here in April. Yesterday when Mahajan Prabhu came up to perform his daily duty, when Gurudeva saw him, he remarked, "he has developed into a very loyal devotee." Then Ekavira Prabhu asked "What do you mean by that Gurudeva?" "Whatever service he does, he does as an offering to the Spiritual Master, regardless of whether he likes it or not, he does it as a personal offering - even though he hasn't had much personal contact with me."

How nice it is, at this time, to see such an example drawn out for us of what the Guru connection is really about.

May we all die before we die

May the wisdom and legacy of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami always be remembered!

On behalf of the caregivers of HH Bhakti-tirtha Swami,
Your servant,
Purusa-sukta das

The Journal of the Final Pastimes of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami. Sunday June 19th - Monday morning June 20th.

Currently, as he was this morning, Gurudeva is in a stable condition. By noontime yesterday Gurudeva had slept 14 hrs since resting the previous night. This is part of the dying process, increased fatigue. Gurudeva’s pain is still persisting. The caregivers are doing their best to address it, with all the needed professional help. As Gurumaharaj desires, they are especially careful to offer pain relief with the minimum effect of drowsiness or other cognitive disadvantages. Gurudeva’s increased fatigue is due partly to the increased pain medication. Gurudeva has more congestion in his lungs. There has been a change in his energy level. He is very weak. His voice for the first time is consistently weak. His heart however is extremely strong.

Something very special happened yesterday; another sweet manifestation of the Lord’s great affection for his beloved devotee. Gurudeva has had a special connection with Tamal Krsna Goswami since the time of Srila Prabhupada. Maharaj, as Srila Prabhupada’s secretary, would read and reply to Gurudeva’s famous preaching reports (the ones Srila Prabhupada would have read repatedly to himself and others). Maharaj arranged for Gurudeva to meet with Srila Prabhupada at the famous darsan in London, where Srila Prabhupada embraced Gurudeva. Since the Cancer set in, many times, especially recently, when Gurudeva felt we that might leave he felt the presence of Tamal Krsna Goswami. He would often have dreams of Maharaj, as would some of the caregivers. In a recent dream Gurudeva saw Tamal Krsna Maharaj coming to him with tears in his eyes saying to Gurudeva “Srila Prabhupada is waiting for you”.

Yesterday at noon Ekavira Prabhu was given a message from Vrakesvara Pandit that the Dallas devotees had come to present to Gurudeva the Darsan of Sri Sri Radha Damodar, Srila Tamal Krsna Maharaj’s personal Radha Krsna Deities from Dallas. These Deities appeared mystically to Maharaj around 1980. On a morning walk in Juhu, Maharaj saw a shiny object in the ocean. He sent his servant to retrieve for him, and came to see that a small deity Krsna had appeared for him. The murti wala he consulted stated that it was at least 500 years old. Hearing of this the Queen of Jaipur had a special Radharani made just for this Deity, out of pure gold. Maharaj originally named them Radha Gopinatha, but latter, out of great separation from his beloved traveling Radha Damodar, he gave them that name instead.

The pujari who is currently caring for them recently felt a tremendous compulsion to bring the Deities to Gurudeva. This feeling would overcome her every time she would dress and worship them. Even though it whas practical impossible, as she and her husband had absolutely no extra money, this inspiration was so compelling that finally her husband agreed to use the money set aside for their monthly bills to finance their Lordship’s travel to see Gurudeva. Hours after the decision was made they were on a plane to Pittsburg.

Shortly before noontime yesterday Gurudeva woke up. Seeing that he had wakened, Ekavira Prabhu told Gurudeva “I have a surprise for you this morning Gurudeva”. Gurudeva asked “What is it?” “Radha Damodara are here” Ekavira replied. “Radha Damodara?” Gurudeva questioned. “Yes, but not the Gita Nagari Deities, these are Tamal Krsna Maharaj’s Deities. Maharaj’s Deities have come to see you.” At this point Gurudeva motioned down from his seated position in bed to lay down. As he reclined back he remarked, “This is amazing, this is so amazing. Krsna is so merciful, Krsna is so merciful.” Immediately Gurudeva arranged to go out to the living room to greet their Lordships, seeing them as the most honorable guests in his residence.

After coming out to view their Lordships, Gurudeva participated in the chanting that was led by the Dallas devotees. (A more detailed account of this will follow this letter) Gurudeva was in tremendous bliss; smiling, chanting, crying and laughing simultaneously. He spoke for 15 minutes. One point reiterated was that Krsna responds to our prayers, but He responds based upon the mood in the heart. Gurudeva kept emphasizing this point - Krsna responds based upon what is in the heart.

Please take advantage of the additional report of this coming forth by Citi-sakti Prabhu.

Afterwards Radhanatha Swami remarked to Gurudeva pointing out that he had recently had his own private Ratha Yatra, and now Radha Damdara have come from all across the country to see him. This, he commented, is the nature of the Lord’s reciprocation with his beloved devotee. “However, I am afraid that you are taking so long to return to Him, that now He is coming to see you.”

Sunday, the day that Radha Damodara came, was the Panihati festival. Gurudeva had expressed that it was “a very merciful day”. During the Sunday class Srila Radhanath Swami spoke about the Panhiati festival and on the recent appearance of Sri Sri Radha Damodar in Gita Nagari. This is another one of those must-hear classes. The transcription and Mp3 file should be posted soon. One theme that Maharaj delivered was how our line is that of Lord Nityanada “bhaja Krsna bolo Krsna koro Krsna siksa”; taking straw between the teeth and humbly begging the common people to worship Krsna, chant His holy names and follow His instructions. Radhanath Swami emphasized that this was the mood of Srila Prabhupada, and was so magnificently carried out in the life of Srila Bhakti-tirtha Swami. Please listen to this class fully.

There is more to share. Much more. I will try to send more out latter tonight.

May we all die before we die May the Final pastimes of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami continue to radiate divine inspiration in all of us.

On behalf of the caregivers of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami

Your servant,

Purusa-sukta das

The Journal of the Final Pastimes of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami, June 20 - 21 morning.

Today was a very special day.

Yesterday evening Gurudeva rested about 6 hrs. He woke at 4:10am and could not sleep anymore. He was in pain. He had perspired a lot up until evening, and had symptoms of dehydration. The caregivers carefully sat Gurudeva up and provided ice chips and water for him. His vitals had fluctuated, and latter stabilized. He was enduring severe pain, and spoke of it increasing to quite a high level. The caregivers provided the suitable medication, but it didn’t subside. At 8am Gurudeva expressed that he wanted to talk to the devotees.

Despite being in such acute and intense pain physically, at this point his main concern was meeting with the devotees. To ensure that this meeting would be of the best quality, in extreme pain, Gurudeva decided not to take his scheduled pain medication, lest it interfere with his outward cognition. He also expressed a concern about the devotees being overly affected in seeing his marked physical deterioration. Ekavira Prabhu reassured Gurudeva “by speaking to the devotees they would be greatful.”

A message had been sent out to the community in Gita Nagari that around 8:30am Gurudeva would be holding an Istagosthi at the Institute House at 9:30am. All the devotees assembled. Nanda Sunu Prabhu, Gurudeva’s former secretary and one of his beloved Gurukuli disciples from England was leading a very sweet bhajan. As Gurudeva was getting ready to go out, Vraja lila Prabhu said “Go for it Gurudeva, go for it!” Gurudeva shook his head, like an innocent child.

Gurudeva entered the assembly of devotees carried on his chair. In the time since devotees saw him last week his physical appearance had deteriorated. He physically appears so frail and weak. Upon sitting, Gurudeva’s face revealed his great appreciation for all the devotees present physically, and those present otherwise. He spent sometime catching his breath, all the while simply appreciating all the devotees with simple, sweet and charming glances. He took care to see that Radhanatha Swami was situated comfortably, and then he spoke.

Gurudeva’s voice was very faint, and his cadence was in concert with his breath; slow and uneven. He said “I do not have much breath left. that is beautiful”. Some moments went by. “Krsna is letting us know that our time is over. How wonderful this is, how glorious this is, how fortunate we are..” He expressed deep appreciation for the devotees. He shared that his chariot is waiting for him.

Gurudeva was perspiring due to fever, and Ekavira and Druva Prabhu were periodically wiping his face. He asked them to fan him, and joked “don’t think they are worshiping me”. He said this a few times. “Don’t think they are worshiping me ¦.. because pretty soon all of you will be in this hot seat”. One devotee then fanned Gurudeva with the peacock fan, but it was a little too intense. Gurudeva then asked “maybe use the camara fan”. Then he made a joking comment that this was good because the camara is a little less prestigious than the peacock fan.

In his talk Gurudeva tried to explain his situation to the devotees. This talk was another very special and unique mood. Gurudvea has been so weak, and now, in the climax of his pain and from a seated position (the most painful of all positions for Gurudeva), he was giving himself to connect with and help the devotees and the world. He expressed that in his humble opinion, the pain was too much for him to bear, and from there he shared his concern for the pain of others. He remarked how he was aware of the pain and suffering of humanity and the devotees, and prayed to be used to help others deal with their pain. He said, “So many people are in pain, so many, and they don’t have anyone to care for them, they don’t have a support system”. He was crying. For sometime he spoke of his concern for the suffering and pain of others, and how his current affliction is something that has come forth to help others.

At this the devotees became emotional, so touched by this fathomless love and compassion exuding from Gurudeva. This compassion was known to everyone there, but it never ceases to be amazing. And to see it expressed again in this condition, where Gurudeva had every bit of reason to be concerned with himself '“ was deeply moving for everyone present.

Gurudeva did not want the devotees to become sad. Shortly after the emotions of the devotees came forth, Gurudeva decided to return to his room. He said he did not know when exactly he would leave, but it was sometime soon. Today, tomorrow, a few days”

The full transcription of this darsan will come out by this evening.

Upon Gurudeva’s exit, Vrakesvara Pandit Prabhu, who Gurudeva has expressed such heartfelt appreciation for throughout his several months of staying here, solaced everyone with the holy names.

Meanwhile, Gurudeva was situated in his room, and he and Radhanatha Swami had a very sweet exchange. Maharaj told Gurudeva “Today is the most auspicious day, the chariot has already arrived”. Then Gurudeva confided, “I am like Druva Maharaj, I don’t want to go back without my friend”. Then one devotee commented “Gurudeva there will be so many friends there with you”. Then Gurudeva said “No I want to go with my big friend, my Maha friend”. Radhanatha Swami assured that Gurudeva could take him in his heart.

(there is no certainty that Gurudeva will leave today. Up until now he is stable. We will keep you posted)

May we all die before we die May the final pastimes of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami always be remembered.

On behalf of the care givers of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami,

Your servant,

Purusa-sukta das

The Journal of the Final Pastimes of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami. Tuesday June 22 - Wednesday June 23rd.

This morning Gurudeva was stable. His resting patterns have changed. Even though taking pain medication (which causes drossiness) and sleeping pills he slept lightly, 1 ½ hrs at a time. He has not eaten in two days. He drank 16oz of water on Monday and 32 oz of water on Tuesday. It is very difficult for Gurudeva to even drink water, as his esophagus is gradually collapsing. Yesterday he told Radhanatha Swami that tomorrow they will honor prasadam together.

Gurudeva has expressed that he doesn't know how much longer he can sustain the pain, at the same time he requests less pain medication each day. The caregivers see that Krsna is protecting him.

In the early afternoon Srila Radhanatha Swami went in to meet with Gurudeva. They were talking for some time. Maharaj spoke to Gurudeva about the auspiciousness of the day, as yesterday was Snana yatra, a full moon and the disappearance of Mukunda datta. Radhanatha Swami went on to describe the beautiful kirtana pastimes of Mukunda datta, which always melted the hearts of the devotees present. Maharaj then mentioned that Mukunda datta was the brother of Vasudeva datta, and hearing this Gurudeva raised his hand to Maharaj's head and pulled it to his heart. Keeping Maharaj's head pressed to his heart Gurudeva started to weep, and as he continued to weep and hold Maharajs head to his heart, he trembled and repeated the name of Vasudeva Datta many times. After this they continued to speak for a little longer. Then Maharaj left briefly, and when he was called back Gurudeva took his hand and said "I want to leave today, it is an auspicious day". Hearing this, the devotees present made arrangements in the room to prepare for an imminent departure. Kirtana began in his room. All of this happened so quickly.

Initially the kirtana was led by Bhava bhakti Mathaji from South Africa. She led kirtana singing many of the tunes that Gurudeva likes. She was singing with great devotion and enthusiasm and in response Gurudeva began to dance in his bed. As far as possible he did his "jig" - circling his hand in time, like a cowboy swinging a lasso, and moving his head to the beat. The devotees were deeply charmed. Bhava Bhakti stopped sometime into the kirtana to let another devotee chant and then Gurudeva said "no, tell whoever was leading to continue to lead". She kept going. Eventually she handed it over to Mahajan Prabhu., who also led a very sweet and devotional kirtana. Then the devotees were asked to leave the room. When Gurudeva called the devotees back in he began to speak to them.

Gurudeva spoke about the auspiciousness of the day how it was the disappearance of Vasudeva Datta's brother and Snana Yatra He had Radhanatha Swami comment about Snan Yatra. To this Maharaj mentioned that Snana Yatra is the day when Lord Jaganatha is taken out in the temple courtyard and bathed with many sacred scented waters. He said that today this festival is being celebrated throughout the whole world.. Hearing how Lord Jaganath was currently being bathed throughout the world Gurudeva was overjoyed and took great delight in extolling the glory of this among the devotees there. After this Gurudeva expressed that he doesn't feel that Krsna wants him to leave today, and that maybe he will go tomorrow, or that maybe he will be cured (after mentioning this, he then commented that "that is unlikely". Then he said "but my passing or your passing is not important, rather how we live on and what we are becoming - that is the important thing." He said that if we remember him, he will live on through us and we can live on together. He spoke of the importance of keeping our vows, how our love will be expressed in how we maintain our vows. He mentioned that we will all be challenged, and that his disciples will have to prove themselves. He said "you just have to become more Krsna conscious". He praised the diversity of the devotees, and told us not to get caught up in homogeneity. He said we should love each other and serve each other. The mood was very intimate and sweet.

It was very difficult to hear what Gurudeva was saying. Somehow the two recording devices employed there did not function properly, so none of it is recorded. We are currently working to document what was spoken by compiling the testimonies of the devotees who were present. This will take a day or so and we will update you as soon as we can.

This is all for now. I will try to send out more this evening.

May we all die before we die. May the final pastimes of Srila Bhakti-tirtha Swami always be remembered.

On behalf of the caregivers of HH Bhakti-tirtha Swami,

Your servant,

Purusa-sukta das

I couldn't help but think...even near the very end, when it seems to us like we are ready to go and our body can hardly function, and we think we ought to be able to simply relax and leave it...we still have no control. Death comes when it will.

The Journal of the Final Pastimes of His Holiness Bhakti-tirtha Swami. June 22 - 23 morning.

Gurudeva slept until 3am this morning. Soon after that he asked to be moved from the bed to his chair. Throughout the morning he switched from his bed and chair several times. He is being closely monitored in this process. He is in pain. His vitals are stable.

This morning Gurudeva asked to drink water and to have something to eat. Vraja lila prepared some soup and Ekavira fed it to Gurudeva. Initially Ekavira just fed him the broth, but Gurudeva asked to eat the vegetables and so Ekavira fed him that as well. This is the first time Gurudeva ate in 3 days.

Yesterday Gurudeva slept for most of the day. The highlight of the day was an istagosthi held by the caregivers. Srila Radhanatha Swami was also in attendance and gave a short talk. The points of the entire meeting are relevant for all of us. I have summarized them below.

1) Encourage strong channels of communication between the caregivers and the greater communities of devotees

2) Departure ceremony update.

1) Communication

***The caregivers expressed that, as Gurudeva has taught us, communication is really a part of loving relationships. They hoped that this meeting could help engender that.

*Discerning the imminent departure. The caregivers always have to watch closely to see when there are clear signs that Gurudeva's departure is imminent (1-16hrs) . When this is clear, the caregivers will see that devotees are notified. What follows are some points on how the caregivers will discern when the departure appears imminent.

-The caregivers are meditating on how to best serve the devotees by giving the best possible communication concerning Gurudeva's imminent departure.

-Discerning the imminent departure is very difficult, especially with someone situated on the transcendental platform.

-Four caregivers are responsible to make this decision collectively, in consultation with other doctors. Only when they have confidence that an imminent departure is likely will they notify devotees.

-Anything is possible. If a notice is given Gurudeva could stay, and Gurudeva could leave without any warning.

*Communicating the imminent departure and departure

-Imminent departure: outside of the Gita Nagari area, through the BTswami list, a phone tree has been proposed. Those who are not on the BTswami list can find an update on the phone tree on BTswami.com .

-Departure: when Gurudeva departs there will be an automated message sent out to the whole world

-The various aspects of the departure ceremony will be promptly communicated via BTswami.com. We plan to update the list with descriptions and photographs at least 7 times during the whole ceremony.

-After the departure a ceremony will immediately begin. The initial non-public Samadhi samskara rituals (performed in Gurudeva's room) will take at least 3 hours and possibly longer. This will give devotees time to drive to Gita Nagari.

*Expressing your concerns about care, communication and anything else related to the departure.

-The caregivers selected me as the contact person, liaison. If you have anything to express in this regard please contact me via Email, or call Gita Nagari 717-527-4101. Please do not hesitate to express something you feel is of value.

2) Departure ceremony

When Gurudeva leaves, his body will be bathed, dressed, and samadhi mantras will be placed on his chest; H.H Radhanatha Maharaja and a few other devotees will perform this rite.

During the bathing and dressing rites, devotees will chant soft bhajans at Gurudeva's house.

Next, Gurudeva will be carried on a palanquin through the woods to the Temple, accompanied by a procession of devotees performing kirtan.

When the devotees arrive at the Temple, Gurudeva's body will be brought before Srila Prabhupada and offered Srila Prabhupada's maha garland and candan.

Next, Gurudeva's body he will be brought before Sri Sri Radha Damodara, where the pujari wlll place a maha garland on Gurudeva.

The palanquin and Guru Maharaja's body will then be placed on a specially made bed in front of the Deities.

Simple puja will then be performed, followed by puspanjali and maha-arati; during maha-arati, Gurvastikam, and Guruvandanam, devotees can offer garlands and flowers to Gurudeva's body; after the arati is completed, devotees may circumambulate Gurudeva's body.

**Please bring flower garlands and flowers with you to be offered to Guru Maharaja.**

Flower garlands will be removed from Guru Maharaja's body before being taken to the crematorium; the flower garlands will be saved for the puspa samadhi. Three devotees will accompany Gurudeva's body to the crematorium.

**Please note that for every event, procedure, etc.. there are devotees who have been selected to perform such.

*Radhanatha Swami's talk

Radhanatha Maharaja began the meeting with a short introduction. He remembered how yesterday he spoke to Gurudeva about the glories of Mukunda Datta. When he mentioned that Mukunda was the younger brother of Vasudeva Datta, Gurudeva pressed Maharaja's head to his chest and began weeping and crying repeating, "Vasudeva Datta, Vasudeva Datta," and thinking of the compassion of this great associate of Lord Caitanya.

Radhanatha Maharaja revealed the principle that Gurudeva has dedicated his life to-to be an instrument of the compassion of Srila Prabhupada and the previous acaryas. Gurudeva has always tried to inspire this compassion in the hearts of all he meets.

Maharaja went on to explain that to be a disciple means to understand and imbibe the mood of the spiritual master. The disciples of Bhakti Tirtha Maharaja should seek to embrace the spirit of being instruments of compassion and to assist in making Srila Prabhupada's movement what he wanted it to be.

Radhanatha Maharaja then spoke about our internal connection with guru. The mission that the spiritual master gives us is eternal and one who takes this mission in one's heart lives with the spiritual master eternally. From a spiritual perspective, there is no difference between direct and indirect service to guru. Most disciples render indirect service, but Gurudeva very much feels our love and reciprocates with the intentions of our hearts.

Maharaja concluded by expressing his deep gratitude to the caregivers and all devotees in Gita Nagari for their sincere service.

May we all die before we die May the Final pastimes of Srila Bhakti-tirhta Swami always be remembered.

On behalf of the caregivers of HH Bhakti-tirtha Swami

Your servant,

Purusa-sukta das

http://www.btswami.com/audio/transcriptions.php?id=19

Hare Krsna. So first I think all of our sannyasis you’ve met. We’ve had a chance to introduce and you’re hearing their wonderful classes during the weeks. But Guna Grahi Swami, I don’t think he’s been with us here for a while, so many of you may not quite know him or you only know of him. So let me take a moment to introduce him. He said just a moment. That means I’ll even go for moments, because I have to explain about his humility now. Radhanatha Maharaja is on the way, but I think he’s going to be quite late. But if so we’ll bring a chair for him.

So we hope you kep hearing from these wonderful devotees. Today I’m not really going to give a lecture, but I have to more or less, I don’t know, for a lack of a better word, just make a few statements of closure. And then I would like you to have chance to ask questions or to hear from each of our devotees who are sitting here. I will try to stay the whole time, as long as I can. The new thing is that I have cancer all in my back and buttocks, and so just sitting now becomes so much more difficult than before. But I won’t go there. The body doing it’s ongoing thing of deterioration. But what I would like to share today is in relationship to nirjana bhajana. Nirjana Bhajana. This is a period where one refrains or moves away, or moves outside the material realm of day to day service, as well as normal identification. So this is the last time that I’m going to give a class mainly because of nirjana bhajana.

continued at link, above

After 2,600 years, the world gains a fourth poem by Sappho about the perishability of this existence.



"First of all there is no question of a devotee becoming ostracised
because he has become ill, nor do I think this is being widely
practiced. Who has been ostracised? One of the symptoms of a devotee
is that he is kind, so if our Godbrother becomes ill, it is our duty
to help him get the proper medicine and treatment so that he can
recover." Srila Prabhupada Letter, April, 1974

---

"There are many examples in history of persons who have been very much
disabled physically but who still have executed Krsna consciousness.
Still, up-to-date in places like Vrndavana, India, there are many
persons who are blind, crippled, lame, deformed, etc. but they are
determined to practice Krsna consciousness to their best ability.
Simply be determined to practice the process of bhakti-yoga with
whatever abilities you have. If you are really sincere, then Krsna
will give you help. If you require any medical help, you take as much
as is needed." Srila Prabhupada Letter, June 3, 1975

---

"Regarding the auto accident, just hold a condolence meeting for
Raghava dasa brahmacari and pray for his soul to Krsna for giving him
a good chance for advancement in Krsna consciousness. Certainly Krsna
will give him a good place to take birth where he can again begin
Krsna conscious activities. That is sure. But we offer our condolences
to a departed soul separated from the Vaisnavas. Do you know that
there must be prasadam distributed? Three days after the demise of a
Vaisnava a function should be held for offering the departed soul and
all others prasadam. This is the system." Srila Prabhupada Letter,
April 11, 1973

---

"Regarding your physical malady, you should do whatever is required to
treat it properly - whatever is most practical." Srila Prabhupada
Letter of May 7, 1975

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Krish...stance_Healers/