QUOTE
I like your discusion. Your point is correct. It is not so much the living together part as it is the illicit sex. A decision to be married should be one that is looked into both logically and emotionally. The problem is that when sex life comes before the marriage it overrides the logic. The emotional bond becomes very strong and the ability to make an objective decision about your marriage partner becomes hampered. The ideal situation would be for the family or friends of the perspective partners to arrange things as far as possible based on the tendencies of the individuals. Unfortunately we are not living in an ideal situation. Especially for those not born of Vaishnava parents this may be harder to do. Not because it is wrong but there are few qualified caretakers who could facilitate this. At least if sex can be avoided and a decision can be made based on compatability that would be ideal. Sex is sex and unless someone is downright ugly you can pretty much get attracted to them if you have similar ideals.
There has been a lot of statistical evidence gathered that also validates the point that relationships that begin with individuals living together before getting married are more likely to result in domestic abuse, child abuse (mental and physical) as well as adultery. This brings up a main point. When we get Krishna's blessings in an endeavor (i.e. marriage) this can help us to overcome obsticals. But when we enter into relationships without those proper blessings than we are willingly turning are back on the mercy and for what? Most people argue "its just a piece of paper". What I read between those lines is "it is too much responsibility for me to handle". Both men and women are becoming less and less inclined toward taking responsibility. People in general are not interested in obtaining the blessings of Krishna or having relationships with him in the center. Instead such relationships have selfish desires in the center. That selfish desire manifests in the inability to take responsibility for our actions i.e.making a promise and keeping a promise (no matter what). This staunch determination to become selfless in our relationships is ultimately a reflection of how much we are striving to become selfless in our relationship with Krishna.
I have never taken a poll about other peoples sex life so I cannot tell you. If we wanted to actually study that I think an impartial and objective poll should be taken to look at it from a completely unbiased and scholarly angle. I will tell you frankly that I did not engage in any intercourse with my wife until I got married and I am glad I didn't. I can see practicly how it helped me to make the best decisioin. Yet even if most people are doing it that is not our concern to change the rules that Krishna has given. Most people don't eat meat so we shouldn't change that principle. In essence none of the pillars of sinful life that Srila Prabhupada told us to avoid should be abandoned just because the whims of a godless and self-centered civilization have made them their life and soul. If we stay principal centered and moral that amount of purity will help us to deeply imbibe the philosophy, change our hearts, and ultimately the hearts of others. To simply call ourselves Vaishnavas and engage in sinful acts will not help. Instead we are cheating ourselves and simply maintaing our material existence while superficially giving ourselves another identification. How can we really help someone if we are hypocrits. Then it comes down to telling people to just put on dhotis and saris (if even that) instead of telling them to change their hearts.
I'm sorry I write so much and hope that I don't sound like I'm coming off to heavy. To be honest I am harder on myself than others. The only time I really get heavy on these points is when I can see that the person has now transgressed the point where he or she is not only hurting themselves but is now hurting others. Well tell me what you think. Thanks for keeping my mind working.
There has been a lot of statistical evidence gathered that also validates the point that relationships that begin with individuals living together before getting married are more likely to result in domestic abuse, child abuse (mental and physical) as well as adultery. This brings up a main point. When we get Krishna's blessings in an endeavor (i.e. marriage) this can help us to overcome obsticals. But when we enter into relationships without those proper blessings than we are willingly turning are back on the mercy and for what? Most people argue "its just a piece of paper". What I read between those lines is "it is too much responsibility for me to handle". Both men and women are becoming less and less inclined toward taking responsibility. People in general are not interested in obtaining the blessings of Krishna or having relationships with him in the center. Instead such relationships have selfish desires in the center. That selfish desire manifests in the inability to take responsibility for our actions i.e.making a promise and keeping a promise (no matter what). This staunch determination to become selfless in our relationships is ultimately a reflection of how much we are striving to become selfless in our relationship with Krishna.
I have never taken a poll about other peoples sex life so I cannot tell you. If we wanted to actually study that I think an impartial and objective poll should be taken to look at it from a completely unbiased and scholarly angle. I will tell you frankly that I did not engage in any intercourse with my wife until I got married and I am glad I didn't. I can see practicly how it helped me to make the best decisioin. Yet even if most people are doing it that is not our concern to change the rules that Krishna has given. Most people don't eat meat so we shouldn't change that principle. In essence none of the pillars of sinful life that Srila Prabhupada told us to avoid should be abandoned just because the whims of a godless and self-centered civilization have made them their life and soul. If we stay principal centered and moral that amount of purity will help us to deeply imbibe the philosophy, change our hearts, and ultimately the hearts of others. To simply call ourselves Vaishnavas and engage in sinful acts will not help. Instead we are cheating ourselves and simply maintaing our material existence while superficially giving ourselves another identification. How can we really help someone if we are hypocrits. Then it comes down to telling people to just put on dhotis and saris (if even that) instead of telling them to change their hearts.
I'm sorry I write so much and hope that I don't sound like I'm coming off to heavy. To be honest I am harder on myself than others. The only time I really get heavy on these points is when I can see that the person has now transgressed the point where he or she is not only hurting themselves but is now hurting others. Well tell me what you think. Thanks for keeping my mind working.
