Ronald McDonald Arrested Options

[Kalisurfer]

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Ronald McDonald Arrested!

Ronald McDonald was arrested yesterday after breaking and entering the milking barn of dairy farmer Mr. Ole McDonald (no relation). Mr. Ronald McDonald was caught hugging the teats of state champion dairy cow Daisy early Friday morning, before her scheduled milking. The culprit, Mr. McDonald, was dragged from the barn area by local police, crying out loudly “I never knew the source, I never knew it could be you!!!”

Ole Farmer McDonald (no relation) said that he noticed a huge drop in milk production in early January and that the teats on his cows, especially Daisy, have been raw and chapped. Installing a video camera in his milking barn early last week, local law enforcement captured the image of a red headed clown in a yellow jumpsuit kissing and fondling the cows, especially Daisy.

Local constable, Sgt. Fred McDonald (no relation) said this is one of oddest and saddest cases of bovine abuse that he has ever seen in his 37 years on the job. Asked what the meaning was of Mr. Ronald McDonalds cries, “I never knew the source, I never know it could be you!” Sgt McDonald (no relation) asked that all such inquires be sent to Dr. Ruth McDonald (no relation) at the McDonalds Psychiatry Institute, where Mr. Ronald McDonald is being held to see if he mentally competent for arrangement and trial.

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[Kalisurfer]

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Looks like Ronald McDonalds troubles keep multiplying. After fleeing the United States, where he was awaiting trail for Bovine Indecency and Abuse, Mr. McDonald found political sanctuary in Pakistan, where McDonalds fast food restaurants had been experiencing a huge growing trend since the introduction of it’s tasty new Jihadi double cheese burger earlier this year.

During the latest round of Cartoon Riots that have spread across Pakistan in the past two months, McDonalds Corporation has tried to reassure its clientele that all was well under the golden arches, since Mr. Ronald McDonald had converted to ISLAM and has denounced his citizenship to the Mother of all evil countries, the United States. Finding out the story was a marketing fabrication, local Imams called for a holy war to be waged against all McDonalds restaurants within their jurisdiction, with a bounty set on the head of Ronald McDonald.

Rioters did capture Mr. McDonald, who was hiding in the basement of the downtown Lahore McDonalds restaurant, while fighting broke out amongst the rioters as to what the best way was to end the clowns life; either death by burning in the debris of the burning fast food restaurant or by decapitation. During this squabble, Choc Latai Tvi, (known as the Chocolate Messiah or Choco to the locals) stepped in to save the life of Mr. McDonald.

Some reports claim that it was the lack of chocolate being distributed by the Chocolate Messiah that led the hypoglycemic crowd to riot and want to kill Mr. McDonald, but no proof of these allegations have been provided so far.

Eyewitness, Salim Ullah credited Choco with arriving at a timely moment to share chocolate with those at the scene. "One second later and the clown's head was going to be separated. Instead of human carnage, we have the taste of chocolate." Mr. McDonald remains in critical condition.


http://www.angelfire.com/art/choco/

[Kalisurfer]

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BREAKING NEWS

With the help of clandestine Indian military involvement, Mr. Ronald McDonald escaped captivity in Pakistan and has renounced his association with the worlds largest fast food company. Mr. McDonald is now living in a Hare Krsna temple in Bombay and is seeking initiation into their cult. American police agencies still have a warrant out for his arrest for breaking his bond and leaving the country before notification of his upcoming trial of Bovine abuse and maltreatment. Mr. McDonald refuses to speak to reporters and has asked that all questions to this unfolding story be handled the Public Affairs office of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness.

Reuters News Agency

[zanardi]

Ronald is seeking initiation, but because the standards are set so high, he may not succeed in his mission to join the cult for good.

[Kalisurfer]

Ronald is seeking initiation, but because the standards are set so high, he may not succeed in his mission to join the cult for good.  

Since they have lowered the standards for those in leadership positions in ISKCON, perhaps there is still hope for poor Ronald.

Though I have heard of rumors that the Tamil rebels in India have taken up the search for Mr. McDonald in terms of collecting the reward for his head set by Muslim extremists. So far, they have only been able to accost and demolish all images of him found in the larger cities in India, their favorite method being as they say “blowing off the head of any heathen Ronald McDonald murti’s” that are usually found around the fast food restaurants in their locales.

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[metamorphosis]

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He (Pariksit Maharaj) would not allow slaughterhouses or killing of cows. He was not a foolish and partial administrator who would arrange for the protection of one living being and allow another to be killed.

[0Aran0]

He was not a foolish and partial administrator who would arrange for the protection of one living being and allow another to be killed.

What about hunting, what is that ?

[metamorphosis]

He was not a foolish and partial administrator who would arrange for the protection of one living being and allow another to be killed.

What about hunting, what is that ?

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one's hunting for his own reasons is a lot different than slaughterhouses that kill Mother Cows on mass scale 24 hours a day, don't you think?

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From old blues songs, particularly the Chicago style; a reference to the location in the slaughterhouse where the stock was killed and then butchered, hence a scene of danger, difficulty, bloodshed, etc.

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slaughterhouse:
n. A scene of massacre or carnage.

[0Oneiros0]

What about hunting, what is that ?

one's hunting for his own reasons is a lot different than slaughterhouses that kill Mother Cows on mass scale 24 hours a day, don't you think?

Metamorphosis is right. Killing and eating animals is not wrong as such--human beings have being doing this since day one, and it is perfectly fine and in line with spirituality--but the modern way of doing it in big slaughterhouses is suspect.

[0Aran0]

I agree that slaughterhouses are abominable; but the text you quoted presents a false picture:
'He was not a foolish and partial administrator who would arrange for the protection of one living being and allow another to be killed.'
Living beings were being killed in his kingdom, indeed he himself hunted ((killed) them.

[Brainiac]

and it is perfectly fine and in line with spirituality

Where did you get that from?

[0Oneiros0]

and it is perfectly fine and in line with spirituality

Where did you get that from?

See the quote from Gary Zukav here. What he says rings true to me and fits with my experience.

[angrezi]

Some Tibetan Buddhists can do the Phowa, or whatever its called, and blast their consciousness out of their skull to the western pureland, and most of them eat meat. They actually get a liitle hole in the cranium when thier practice matures. When a group of Tibetan monks visited my town the hosts took them to McDonalds. No kidding.

I don't personally partake of meat but don't certainly don't think it categorically rules out anyone being "spiritual" whatever the hell that subjective word means. Most world cultures indeed needed meat and fish to survive.

[0Oneiros0]

Gary Zukav's words are probably worth reproducing here:

Many people who eat meat have a relationship with Life that is reverent, and that respects the natural exchange of energy between the domains of Life on the Earth—such as mineral, vegetable, and animal.

[0Oneiros0]

I don't personally partake of meat but don't certainly don't think it categorically rules out anyone being "spiritual" whatever the hell that subjective word means. Most world cultures indeed needed meat and fish to survive.

Sure. And we have learned that KRSNa himself ate buffalo meat, see here.

[babu]

people should know that buffalo wings aren't vegetarian as they are made from chickens and not buffaloes

[angrezi]

people should know that buffalo wings aren't vegetarian as they are made from chickens and not buffaloes

Buffaloes are certainly vegitarian, I never saw one eat meat. I saw some eating plastic bags though

[Brainiac]

Some Tibetan Buddhists can do the Phowa, or whatever its called, and blast their consciousness out of their skull to the western pureland, and most of them eat meat. They actually get a liitle hole in the cranium when thier practice matures. When a group of Tibetan monks visited my town the hosts took them to McDonalds. No kidding.

Yeah those Buddhists are a weird bunch, especially the Sri Lankan ones. Some relatives in Sri Lanka told me that they would refuse to go to people's houses to preach unless beef, chicken and lamb were on the table for dinner. I still don't understand how they justify it with all their emphasis on ahimsa and so on.

I've also seen Buddhist monks with a mouthful of betel in the Pettah area to do business with a briefcase. What a funny sight, a luminously orange-robed betel-chewing monk with a leather portfolio.

I don't personally partake of meat but don't certainly don't think it categorically rules out anyone being "spiritual" whatever the hell that subjective word means. Most world cultures indeed needed meat and fish to survive.

Perhaps so, but many people (including myself) have found that meat-eating is perhaps unsuitable when "spirituality" is one of the important goals of a person's life. I suppose it also depends on how much you eat. For instance, we've all heard the argument before about how eating meat reinforces the bodily consciousness but it appears to be true from the practical experiences of some people.

My (meat-eating) cousin recently got married to a vegetarian girl who decided to temporarily eat meat so as not to "upset" the balance of the household. She told me that after a few months she would go back to being vegetarian, but she consistently reported "changes in her way of thinking". I do realise that changes in the way of thinking can attributed to a number of factors, but it seems to be something of a common denominator among people who move from a vegetarian diet to a meat diet, and vice versa. It's also consistent with my own experience too, though I haven't eaten meat for nearly thirteen years. I personally wouldn't recommend meat-eating to someone who is seriously trying to 'up' their spirituality, it has the wuality of dragging/keeping them down and, in some cases, causes spirituality to deteriorate.

I also hate the way that vegetarianism has become a "fad" so that corporate fatcats cash in on it and bring out "vegetarian options" that are so bloody expensive. Hamburgers are cheaper than a cheese-and-tomato half-baguette!

But at any rate, I think it would be much better for people to be honest with themselves and other people about their eating habits instead of being a hypocrite. Sanctimony also doesn't go very well down the throat, pun intended. If people want to eat it, go and eat it instead of using religion as a tool to make other people feel guilty and so on.

[Brainiac]

I don't personally partake of meat but don't certainly don't think it categorically rules out anyone being "spiritual" whatever the hell that subjective word means. Most world cultures indeed needed meat and fish to survive.

Sure. And we have learned that KRSNa himself ate buffalo meat, see here.

Very interesting. I should look that up one day.