Constructive suggestions, How do you calm down over debates? Options

[Kalisurfer]

When things get really-really hot and I can feel the anger rising from my toes up my spine and totally inflaming the heart and reaching my totally beet red head with eyes bloodshot and ready to pop—with my mouth distorted in a wide hollow salivated extreme open shouting position with the hair on the top of my head standing on end while my pony tail flutters uncontrollably.......

.... I always take a deep breath and simply ask:

What would Jesus shoe?

[0Aran0]

just remeber it's just words on a screen exchanged with people you only know on a very sureal level.  it really doesn't matter.  and the people who get the angriest just end up looking the dumbest.

..the gist of life is relationships....

Very good point Prisni.

[Tapati]

I remember in one of my college classes we had a member of the Jain faith come to show us how breathing slowly can curb violence. He was sponsored by a local organization that works to promote nonviolence.

He had us start by simply counting our breaths for a minute. Then he had us focus on breathing more slowly and deeply while counting. He had us repeat the exercise. He had us note our mood both before and after the breathing exercises. He pointed out that it was impossible to be angry or act violently in the frame of mind we possessed after slowing our breath, and how one has to breath in short, swift breaths to support an angry mood. Thus we could control our anger at any time, he said, by placing our focus on our breath.

Obviously the rapid breathing is part of the whole fight or flight response. I suspect that we activate that survival response when we are in the midst of a flame war. We somehow come to feel that our survival is threatened. Of course the stress associated with the fight or flight response being activated repeatedly by modern life has an ill effect on our heart health as well as our immune system. Interrupting such stress by controlling our breathing is good for our physical health as well as our psyche.

Anything we can do to promote awareness of our breath is good for us and good for our online participation.

I like to put a calming picture by my monitor, something from nature, so that when I'm stressed I have something to focus on that soothes me.

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[Prisni]

He pointed out that it was impossible to be angry or act violently in the frame of mind we possessed after slowing our breath, and how one has to breath in short, swift breaths to support an angry mood. Thus we could control our anger at any time, he said, by placing our focus on our breath.

My therapist said something similar, but not exactly as the solution to all problems.
To counter a stress reaction, one can breathe slowly and controlled, which tells some part of the brain that there is no danger, and stops the stress reaction from escalating. It is a biological thing.

[Homer]

He pointed out that it was impossible to be angry or act violently in the frame of mind we possessed after slowing our breath, and how one has to breath in short, swift breaths to support an angry mood. Thus we could control our anger at any time, he said, by placing our focus on our breath.

My therapist said something similar, but not exactly as the solution to all problems.
To counter a stress reaction, one can breathe slowly and controlled, which tells some part of the brain that there is no danger, and stops the stress reaction from escalating. It is a biological thing.

In order to control the breath, one must be aware of how one is breathing - in that given moment - self awareness.

I doubt it has much to do with the actual rate of exhales and inhales.

To have the awareness required to monitor one's breath is to be aware.

[zanardi]

I think it is good to get angry without actually, truly getting angry. I know it sounds a bit contradictory, but it works.

[metamorphosis]

I think it is good to get angry without actually, truly getting angry.  I know it sounds a bit contradictory, but it works.

Agree, and another thing i like, is to only win during debates.

[ePiTau]

I got plenty fried and grilled and flamed and stuff, in the past. I did like to debate, but was quite unhappy about how much these debates would occupy my mind. Even while taking walks or doing other enjoyable things, I would formulate counter responses in my head. I learned, the hard way, to avoid writing things that I knew would get people go ballistic. I often end up trimming my posts to a bare minimum. I always proofread before posting, with focus on what part of my stuff could be irritating to others. This post is likely to unleash Armageddon.

That's another way, implant damage control opportunities. Leave some handles in the text that will allow me to bring in humor when I can forsee angry responses to points that I just had to make.

[zanardi]

I got plenty fried and grilled and flamed and stuff, in the past. I did like to debate, but was quite unhappy about how much these debates would occupy my mind. Even while taking walks or doing other enjoyable things, I would formulate counter responses in my head. I learned, the hard way, to avoid writing things that I knew would get people go ballistic. I often end up trimming my posts to a bare minimum. I always proofread before posting, with focus on what part of my stuff could be irritating to others. This post is likely to unleash Armageddon.

That's another way, implant damage control opportunities. Leave some handles in the text that will allow me to bring in humor when I can forsee angry responses to points that I just had to make.

By the way, you did have a reputation as a debate-dude. I was once giving class in Almvik when you entered the temple-room. I froze seeing you and decided immediately to just try my best to keep my train of thought neatly in the middle of the road for the rest of my lecture. I was afraid that you would challenge me. In the end I did not ask for questions but just made obeisances and ran away fast! I did not want to get fried, grilled, flamed and stuff.

[babu]

i no longer consider my self a master debater... instead of trying to prove someone wrong or walking upon falacious ground, i try to prove how everyone is right and perfect and doing what they are meant to do in this moment of cosmic flowering

i think its important to see yourself as part of the hole

[0۞ ۞ ۞0]

Yea I kinda burnt from it all...

I was doing vipassana meditation daily and it droped off with all these flame wars...

I'm gonna start up again starting today..

nice hot tea helps too

[Kalisurfer]

I got plenty fried and grilled and flamed and stuff, in the past. I did like to debate, but was quite unhappy about how much these debates would occupy my mind. Even while taking walks or doing other enjoyable things, I would formulate counter responses in my head. I learned, the hard way, to avoid writing things that I knew would get people go ballistic. I often end up trimming my posts to a bare minimum. I always proofread before posting, with focus on what part of my stuff could be irritating to others. This post is likely to unleash Armageddon.

That's another way, implant damage control opportunities. Leave some handles in the text that will allow me to bring in humor when I can forsee angry responses to points that I just had to make.

I really like how ePiTau approaches his online postings. Being thoughtful and taking the time to think out and edit a post is more time consuming but has its rewards. It is not always easy to slow down your posts when involved in a flame word war online though, it seems like there is this need for instant responses and letting go of thoughts and feelings that flood the body and mind at such times.

I have been trying to stay out of the more controversial threads and posts on GR, though I am compelled to say something when a member starts debasing a whole religion based on their conception of terrorism. I like the creative aspect of being involved with Gaudiya Repercussions, having fun with words and images and being involved with others in irreverent deconstructing of the whole GV experience. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not, for some words that do not convey facial features, body language and emotive vocal sounds can sometimes be misunderstood and you can end up hurting someone’s feelings. Taking the creative approach also means thinking out your posts and editing them, which is time consuming and if you get no response, you end up wondering if it was worth the effort.

I have seen Gaudiya Repercussions as an online Infirmary for those who have been previously involved with Krsna Consciousness or still currently are. It’s a place to heal and work out issues concerning the complex experience of being a devotee in a Postmodern world. With all the controversies that historically abound in Gaudiya Vaisnavism and ISKCON, it’s a wonder the members of GR have been able to keep as much sanity and good nature as they have in the past two years. The Mods do a good job and most members are pretty level headed in the end. (I think only two members have been banned in 2 years)

I think this particular thread on how to keep your cool in heated times will be a big help and a possible teaching tool that will be useful in the future when posting threads catch fire and smoke starts coming from the monitors and keyboards start flying out the window.

[Tapati]

Taking the creative approach also means thinking out your posts and editing them, which is time consuming and if you get no response, you end up wondering if it was worth the effort.

Oh, I hope you always find them worth the effort. I may not always have time to say so but I always enjoy them.

[angrezi]

I used to debate sometimes but nowadays I think that I'm the only one who has realized the absolute truth, so its really pointless to debate with others

[Dhyana]

i no longer consider my self a master debater... instead of trying to prove someone wrong or walking upon falacious ground, i try to prove how everyone is right and perfect and doing what they are meant to do in this moment of cosmic flowering

i think its important to see yourself as part of the hole

It must be this realization that makes you so empowered to crack us up with each post!

[ePiTau]

I got plenty fried and grilled and flamed and stuff, in the past. I did like to debate, but was quite unhappy about how much these debates would occupy my mind. Even while taking walks or doing other enjoyable things, I would formulate counter responses in my head. I learned, the hard way, to avoid writing things that I knew would get people go ballistic. I often end up trimming my posts to a bare minimum. I always proofread before posting, with focus on what part of my stuff could be irritating to others. This post is likely to unleash Armageddon.

That's another way, implant damage control opportunities. Leave some handles in the text that will allow me to bring in humor when I can forsee angry responses to points that I just had to make.

By the way, you did have a reputation as a debate-dude. I was once giving class in Almvik when you entered the temple-room. I froze seeing you and decided immediately to just try my best to keep my train of thought neatly in the middle of the road for the rest of my lecture. I was afraid that you would challenge me. In the end I did not ask for questions but just made obeisances and ran away fast! I did not want to get fried, grilled, flamed and stuff.

Was I such? I had no idea. Good I didn't get to flame you! Seems you were wise, while I was clueless.

[Homer]

I used to debate sometimes but nowadays I think that I'm the only one who has realized the absolute truth, so its really pointless to debate with others

Now I am angry!!! Much happiness found through anger and hate. Kinda fires up the old furnace and clears out the soot of a covered over mind and heart.

Especially when used in the service of one's gluroo.

If someone questions the merits of what you want -they are your enemy. Don't matter a flying phuck if they are right.

Come on, take de bait, sucker.

[Chanahari]

i no longer consider my self a master debater...

So you don't master-debate anymore?

[Homer]

Master debaiting should only be performed in private - like in front of a web cam.

[Homer]

i no longer consider my self a master debater...

So you don't master-debate anymore?

Please, take your vicious fights to the MOD section.

There are impressionable tender minds playing here.